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Thread: * Millmow Watch *

  1. #1
    Hall of Fame Member HeathDavisSpeed's Avatar
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    * Millmow Watch *

    Non-Kiwis - look away now.

    This thread is to comment on and grow a list of the mediocrity of Jonathan Millmow's cricket reporting. His constant knee-jerks remind me of someone with a severe case of localised epilepsy around the Patella whilst the rapidity of his U-Turns can only remind me of a particularly annoying 7 roundabouts around a central roundabout set up in Canvey Island, Essex.

    This thread will exist in the hope that by highlighting his continued failures to provide any meaningful, let alone useful media coverage that Fairfax Media may decide to find a better media representative.

    TODAY'S MILLMOW WATCH HAS UNCOVERED:

    From the article commenting on Fleming's retirement:

    Quote Originally Posted by Jonathan Millmow
    He lost the test captaincy in September last year after a record reign of 10 years, the selectors handing the responsibility to Daniel Vettori who had already assumed control of the New Zealand one-day and Twenty20 teams.

    New Zealand Cricket chief executive Justin Vaughan paid tribute to Fleming, describing him as a great captain and player.

    "Stephen's leadership qualities had a tremendous impact on the team and he will be missed.

    "He has made a huge contribution to cricket in New Zealand and I sincerely wish him all the best."

    Fleming, New Zealand's most experienced test cricketer and leading run scorer, retired from the one-day version of the game after the World Cup in Jamaica in April last year.

    He has played 280 one-day internationals since making his debut in 1994, and has been captain on 218 occasions since 1997.

    He lost the test captaincy in September last year after a record reign of 10 years, the selectors handing the responsibility to Daniel Vettori, who had already assumed control of the New Zealand one-day and Twenty20 outfits.
    So important, he had to repeat it or did old Mill'ers need to meet a word count for this article but found himself incapable of doing so?

    Knee-jerking

    From Millmow's article about the Hamilton test....

    Quote Originally Posted by Jonathan Millmow
    Not that Moores is blameless either. The omission of the star of the Twenty20 series, Dimitri Mascarenhas, has backfired and it would be a bold move to leave him on the sidelines again for tomorrow's crunch match at Eden Park.

    New Zealand all-rounder Jacob Oram is playing close to his best cricket with bat, ball and in the field.
    Exactly how has Mascarenhas become a fixture in this team which warrants an apportionment of blame for leaving him out I do not know. Possibly Millmow is riding on the bandwagon which must be inextricably linked to those 4 sixes at Eden Park.

    Now as to Jakey-boy, I'm not entirely sure how one successful innings in a 20:20 and a few good overs is really enough to judge him as "playing close to his best cricket". Maybe we should reserve judgement until we've seen a bit more of him, eh Mill'ers? What was that? It doesn't sell enough papers if you say that? Well, I've news for you - YOUR ARTICLES DO NOT SELL PAPERS EITHER YOU VACUOUS ****
    >>>>>>WHHOOOOOOOOOSHHHHHHH>>>>>>
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  2. #2
    Soutie Langeveldt's Avatar
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    International Regular 16 tins of Spam's Avatar
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    We should really have started this thread months ago, Heath. Those articles he wrote in between the SA and Bangers series were award winning in their abjectness.
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    Hall of Fame Member HeathDavisSpeed's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 16 tins of Spam View Post
    We should really have started this thread months ago, Heath. Those articles he wrote in between the SA and Bangers series were award winning in their abjectness.
    I'm sure the Black Caps will give him more than enough rope to hang himself with when their results go back to the usual yo-yo'ing.

    In today's watch, Millmow has had little of his own words to say, instead just regurgitating the words of Martin Crowe in an article about Jesse Ryder. How it has Millmow's name attached to it when 90% of the content is from Crowe is anybody's guess!!


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    U19 Cricketer armchairumpire's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HeathDavisSpeed View Post
    I'm sure the Black Caps will give him more than enough rope to hang himself with when their results go back to the usual yo-yo'ing.

    In today's watch, Millmow has had little of his own words to say, instead just regurgitating the words of Martin Crowe in an article about Jesse Ryder. How it has Millmow's name attached to it when 90% of the content is from Crowe is anybody's guess!!
    Don't see as many cricket articles from Richard Boock. Is he not writing much cricket newspaper stuff now?

  6. #6
    Hall of Fame Member Smudge's Avatar
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    He gained technical redundancy from the NZ Herald and now works for the Sunday Star Times. Does a little bit of radio too.

  7. #7
    Request Your Custom Title Now! Flem274*'s Avatar
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    Heath why don't you write for the dominion Post? you have so many advantages over Milmow, like a brain for instance.
    Quote Originally Posted by Bahnz View Post
    I need u like Henry Nicholls needs batting school
    He was terrible in that series
    I need u like Ross Taylor needed to be fit
    He's way better than Henry Nicholls
    And now all I can think about is your smile
    and that ****** test series too
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    Cricketer Of The Year Somerset's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Voltman View Post
    He gained technical redundancy from the NZ Herald and now works for the Sunday Star Times. Does a little bit of radio too.
    Thanks for that bit of information, was wondering about Boock's recent lack of articles in the New Zealand Herald.

  9. #9
    Hall of Fame Member HeathDavisSpeed's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Flem274* View Post
    Heath why don't you write for the dominion Post? you have so many advantages over Milmow, like a brain for instance.
    I think my ability to spell with 98% accuracy would count against me. I don't think I'd be allowed to show the sub-editors up.

    In England, they call the Guardian the Grauniad due to the poor sub-editing. Maybe its time to start calling the Dominion the Dimonion.

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    State 12th Man sportychic33's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Voltman View Post
    He gained technical redundancy from the NZ Herald and now works for the Sunday Star Times. Does a little bit of radio too.
    Does a lot of magazine work as well, namely Sky Sport the Magazine and Off Spin as well. Also appears on Cricket Company frequently (which is now a boring recap on the weeks cricket news)
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    Cricket Web Staff Member luckyeddie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HeathDavisSpeed View Post
    I think my ability to spell with 98% accuracy would count against me. I don't think I'd be allowed to show the sub-editors up.

    In England, they call the Guardian the Grauniad due to the poor sub-editing. Maybe its time to start calling the Dominion the Dimonion.
    Put a gap after 'Dim' and before 'Onion' to make it obvious for the thicko's like me and you're on to a winner.
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    Request Your Custom Title Now! Flem274*'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HeathDavisSpeed View Post
    I think my ability to spell with 98% accuracy would count against me. I don't think I'd be allowed to show the sub-editors up.

    In England, they call the Guardian the Grauniad due to the poor sub-editing. Maybe its time to start calling the Dominion the Dimonion.
    Guardian=newspaper equivalent of Paul Hitchcock and Sylvester Joseph.

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    Cricket Web Staff Member luckyeddie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Flem274* View Post
    Guardian=newspaper equivalent of Paul Hitchcock and Sylvester Joseph.
    More like the newspaper equivalent of Alfred Hitchcock and Joseph and his Amazing Technicolor Yawn.

    Despite what they say, the ink rubs off - absolute horror show.

    And the crossword's rubbish.

  14. #14
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    As a bit of an old leftie tosspot I'm going to stand up for the venerable Granuiad; the arse sub-editing has been largely eradicated (and has been for about a decade) and its cricket coverage is second only to (maybe ironically given the diametrically opposed political viewpoints) the Torygraph. Selvey & Weaver are always good value; I particularly enjoy the wry world-weary sardonicism of the former.
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  15. #15
    Hall of Fame Member HeathDavisSpeed's Avatar
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    Another cracking bit of writing from Millmow today. Reminded me of the sort of bilge written by five year olds at school when they get back from their summer holidays.

    "Then I did this. Then I did that. Then I did the other"

    Obviously today Millmow had a given size to fill rather than a number of words he had to write. Surely that's the only excuse for the following paragraph-fest:

    Quote Originally Posted by Jonathan Millstone
    Bracewell would never commit to such tactics, but he did admit McLean Park is a "good chasing wicket".

    One aspect of New Zealand's play he must be proud of is the fielding, especially in the inner ring.

    New Zealand have completed seven run outs and appear to have their angles precise.

    Bracewell singled out Jamie How and Ross Taylor as the key throwers.

    England cruised into Napier yesterday afternoon, presumably in a confident mood.
    In fact, in the article it seems that Millmow starts a new paragraph every time he completes a sentence.

    This proves to be quite an annoyance.

    This may prove to be an example to those who doubt the efficacy of that statement.

    New paragraph please, paragraph-boy.
    Last edited by HeathDavisSpeed; 17-02-2008 at 10:42 PM.

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