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Thread: Battle of the Nincompoops

  1. #1
    SJS
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    Battle of the Nincompoops

    I think we fail to recognise the 'contribution' of those who did so badly that one wonders why they were there in the first place and how they would have managed to live the rest of their lives faced with this same unspoken query in the eyes of everyone who recognised them and recalled what they had done or, more often, so magnificiently failed to do.

    I refer to those who played the game, or officiated in it or were administrators and di a terrible terrible job.

    I am asking at first for nominations.

    Here is mine.

    Led his country in a test series in England, scored a grand total of 33 runs in the six innings of the three test series, did not bowl a single ball, lost the series, sent back one of his leading batsmen back from tour mainly because he was in the employment of a rival, and generally made himself as unpleasant as he could. But that came naturally to this caricaturists delight who, after his disastrous (he never ever saw it that way) short (thank God) career, forced himself upos millions of Indians as a permanent fixture on cricket commentarry teams where even more irritating than his arrogant pomousity was the fawning of his fellow commentators.

    This was the short, plump and bespectacled moron called Vijaya Ananda, the Maharajah of Vijayanagram, better known as Vizzy who was knighted for his services to the game after that tour to England !!!

    Nominations please.

    PS : The nominees need not be spectacular failures in statistical terms. Anyone who you feel made a fool of himself in a matter connected to the game (preferably though on the field) is a potential candidate. Did I hear Darryl....something ?

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    International Debutant dinu23's Avatar
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    Asoka de silva - hopeless umpire

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    Hall of Fame Member FaaipDeOiad's Avatar
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    Scott Muller. Played two tests for Australia during the 16 test winning streak, took 7 wickets and then got dropped and never played again. Was the target of the famous "can't bat, can't bowl, can't field" remark that was attributed firstly to Shane Warne and then to "Joe the Cameraman".

    In Warne's autobiography he talks a bit about Muller's vendetta against him since that moment, and says that he (Muller) always thought that Warne was responsible for the remark and thus indirectly for the end of his test career. Later in the book, Warne has a list of the players who participated in the 16 test streak with a bit of statistical info about them and their contribution, and some discussion of why they were good players and so on. For Muller he has "Scott Muller - played two tests.".
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    International Regular Steulen's Avatar
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    Can we nominate the current England ODI team? No?

    OK then:

    Darren Gough. Great paceman that he is, he definitely qualifies for this after pulling out of an England tour to participate in a dancing contest.
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    Cricket Web: All-Time Legend Mister Wright's Avatar
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    Does a nomination have to reflect a player that had a short career or can we nominate someone for a certain instance? Because, I'd like to nominate Nassar Hussain for his decision to bowl in the first test of the 2002 Ashes series.

    And I'd also like to nominate Shane Warne for not wearing gloves on Australia's last tour to India and then getting a broken finger which meant he missed the last test.
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    International Debutant Pedro Delgado's Avatar
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    SJS
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    A player (or official) CAN be nominated for a single yet spectacularly 'stupid' act.

    I, hereby, nominate Sunil Gavaskar for trying to force his batting partner to walk out alongwith him on that crazy afternoon down under. Gavaskar also begs qualification for that spectacular 36 not out in 60 completed overs in a world cup match while the team lost just three wickets !

    Gavaskar HAMMERED one miraculous boundary in the 174 deliveries he faced.

    Since then there have been 15 other instances of teams losing by 200 runs or more but everyone of those teams was bowled out, mostly for miserably low scores. Gavaskar set up for India an amazing achievement.

    India had seven wickets in hand including some of the games big names !!

    Oh it was one of Gavaskar's 'memorable' moments.

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    Eternal Optimist / Cricket Web Staff Member GIMH's Avatar
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    On the same lines as Hussain, Ricky "we'll have a bowl mate" Ponting made a complete plank of himself that day.
    "It was an easy decision to sign. I could have gone elsewhere, I had calls, but it never entered my mind it's not about the money."
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    SJS
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    So far we have
    1. Vizzy - Hopeless Captain of India 1936
    2. Ashoka DeSilva - Internaytional Umpire (entire career I presume)
    3. Scott Muller (I am not clear about his claim to fame)
    4. Darren Gough (Better dancer or bowler)
    5. Shane Warne whose finger was broken 'allegedly' during batting on a cricket field without protection.
    6. Shakoor Rana - the Pakistani who brought the Empire on its knees or so he thought with that scrap that ended in scrap paper.
    7. Hussain for being too scared (too smart) to bat first in an Ashes test.
    8. Ricky Ponting for showing he could be as 'good' a captain as Hussain.
    9. Gavaskar who almost beat Inzy for being the first captain to forfeit a match when he walked off the field and asked his batting partner to join him to leave the field.
    10 Gavaskar again for showing the world how to chase what was then the highest ever one day international score of 334 - by scoring an unbeaten 36 in 174 deliveries !

    Keep them coming guys.

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    Eyes not spreadsheets marc71178's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mister Wright
    Does a nomination have to reflect a player that had a short career or can we nominate someone for a certain instance? Because, I'd like to nominate Nassar Hussain for his decision to bowl in the first test of the 2002 Ashes series.
    Matched by Ricky Ponting last summer as my nomination.
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    SJS
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    Inzy for not knowing how long his protest should last before it became too late and after which ending it would become pointless.

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    Banned Pratters's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SJS
    A player (or official) CAN be nominated for a single yet spectacularly 'stupid' act.

    I, hereby, nominate Sunil Gavaskar for trying to force his batting partner to walk out alongwith him on that crazy afternoon down under. Gavaskar also begs qualification for that spectacular 36 not out in 60 completed overs in a world cup match while the team lost just three wickets !
    I some how knew you would say that! Good to see you back bit more active on cw.

  13. #13
    Eternal Optimist / Cricket Web Staff Member GIMH's Avatar
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    Dhoni - for those shots to Panesar in Mumbai

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    Hall of Fame Member Sanz's Avatar
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    Kapildev for crying on national television.

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    International Debutant Pedro Delgado's Avatar
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    I admire him more for that interestingly.

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