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Fantastic spoof diary of Kev Pietersen by Giles Smith (The Times)

nightprowler10

Global Moderator
This is a good paragraph:

Returned to camp, empty-handed, two hours later, to find that no one else had had much luck, either. Straussy had nearly drowned attempting to trap a water rat and Marcus Trescothick was covered in squirrel bites. Breakfast was about to be two beetles and a twig, courtesy of Matthew Hoggard, when Freddie suddenly burst into the camp with a stag across his shoulders, which he proceeded to gut, skin and cook. He then boiled up the remainders for soup, made a tent out of the hide and whittled the antlers into a mug tree for his kitchen at home. There’s no stopping him, even if he’s less than 100 per cent. We’re glad he’s here.
 

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