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Thread: Ganguly Jokes!!! Hilarious!!

  1. #1
    School Boy/Girl Cricketer Toecrusher's Avatar
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    Ganguly Jokes!!! Hilarious!!

    How to Cook Maggie?
    4 simple steps to cook Maggi noodles
    Step 1: boil one cup of water.
    Step 2: as soon as ganguly goes for batting, put the noodles in the boiledwater and put the tastemaker.
    Step 3: stir till ganguly is onfield.
    Step 4: As soon as ganguly is back in pavilion, your noodles r ready to eat.

    Follow-up
    From: Maggi Customer Care Center
    Dear Customers,


    We have received many compliments after we shared our recipe of 4 easy steps to cook Maggie. However we have received a very important complaint which we need to share with you all.

    One of our regular customers, Mrs. Radha Pai, from Meerut had written to us that she tried out the recipe to cook Maggie during the first ODI between India & Pak.

    She says that she followed all the steps correctly and was eager to have her breakfast. But she found that the Maggie was hardly fully wet and hence was not properly cooked.

    We thoroughly apologized to our customer on behalf of our captain who returned back to the pavilion even before the Maggie was properly soaked in water.

    In this regard we request all our customers to take a precaution and to wait for the Maggie to be cooked until after the re-plays.

    Remember, even if Ganguly is back well before 2 minutes, the replays would ensure your Maggie is rightly done.

    The management once again apologizes for any uncooked Maggie’s during the first ODI.

    Regards.
    Maggie Customer Care Centre.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------

    *Maggi Customer Service - Another Apology by Chandrasekar

    We sincerely apologize once more for the complaints we
    received after the last one day between India and
    Kenya played at Kolkata.

    Many of the customers who tried our recipe with the
    trademark "Dada 4 steps" had complained that the Maggi
    got overcooked a bit that day and it had spoiled their
    breakfast.

    While we assure that the "Dada 4 steps" works
    perfectly well almost all the times, it seems to
    create problems very few times when India plays Kenya
    or Bangladesh since Ganguly manages to stay in the
    crease for an additional minute or two against these
    two nations. This makes the Maggi getting over cooked.
    We sincerely apologize for this and request our
    customers to watch out a bit during these matches. We
    are very confident that Ganguly will get his problem
    corrected against these nations also soon to get his
    innings wrapped up on time not to disappoint the Maggi
    customers and Management.

    Sincerely,
    Maggie Customer Care Centre
    Beneath that helmet, under that unruly curly hair, inside that cranium, there is something we don't know, something beyond scientific measure. Something that allows him to soar, to roam a territory of sport that forget us, even those who are gifted enough to play alongside him cannot even fathom. When he goes out to bat, people switch on their TV sets and switch off their lives - BBC on Sachin Tendulkar

  2. #2
    School Boy/Girl Cricketer Toecrusher's Avatar
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    http://www.************.com/jokes.html

    From Unknown
    What's Ganguly's favorite bird?

    Answer - Duck

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------
    From GangulyHater

    Dada Ganguly had been drinking too heavily before going to bat on black Monday. He staggered up to John Wright and confessed that he could see three of everything.
    "Well," said John Wright, "when you get out there and the three balls come towards you, just hit the middle one."
    Later Ganguly weaved his way to the crease and you all know what happened after that. He was just clean bowled soon.
    When he made his way back, "What happened?" demanded John Wright. "Didn't you try to hit the middle ball?"
    "Izzzezzzzezzz Yeshhhh," replied Dada, "but I used the outside bat!"


    Q) What is the Height of Optimism?
    A): Ganguly applying sunscreen cream on his face when he goes out to bat.

    Railways keen on Ganguly: At least we'll have someone who comes (back) before time. This will help them improve the image with the Indian public.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------
    From Amti
    India Pakistan Match has started. As to be expected, it's a charged up atmosphere and the heat is really on!
    India is put in to bat. As to be expected, three wickets down, for a measly score.
    There is phone call for Ganguly, at the Dressing Room. The Team Manager picks up the call.
    Voice : "Hello ! I am Ganguly's friend speaking . Can I talk to him now ?"
    Team Manager : "Sorry ! He has just gone in to bat . "
    Voice : "No problem I'll hold" Laughing

    What is common to a 100 mtrs race and Ganguly’s innings?
    Ans: They both last for the same time.

    How can u say “Get Out” to Ganguly politely?
    Ans: Ask him to go to bat.

    If Rahul is “The Wall”, what is Ganguly?
    Ans: The hole in the wall.

    How can Ganguly save time everyday?
    Ans: By not bothering to pad up.

    Who is the only cricketer who does not bat, bowl or field and yet plays international cricket?
    Ans: no comments…….

    Why has Saurav Ganguly been recommended as the fielding coach for India after retirement?
    Ans: No one else can provide catches as easily as Ganguly.

    Which are the 5 ways to get the wicket of Ganguly?
    Ans:
    i) Bowl to rib cage. Ganguly jumps in his place. mistimes pull. Easy catch for short midwicket
    ii) bowl good length outswinger. Easy catch to keeper/slip
    iii) full length delivery at off stump. Easy catch for gully
    iv) bowl short pitch outside offstump. Ganguly drags on to the stumps
    v)bowl a flighted delivery. Earlier Ganguly would hit sixes. Now he either gets bowled or stumped or catch to close in fielders.

    Whats Ganguly’s fav movie?
    “Gone in 60 seconds”

    From SuperAdmin
    Knock, Knock.
    "Who is there?"
    "Ganguly"
    "Ganguly who?"
    "The batsman who had just gone out to bat"

    Knock, Knock.
    "Who is there?"
    "Ganguly"
    "Ganguly who?"
    "The batsman who is feared most in Bangladesh and Zimbabwe"

    Knock, Knock.
    "Who is there?"
    "Ganguly"
    "Ganguly who?"
    "Hey Dalmiya, you better watch your mouth"


    *Ganguly had a dreadful test match which cost his side the game. All week long
    he practiced hard for the next game. During the following match, he said to John Wright,
    'Notice any difference?' John Wright looked at him thoughtfully. 'You've had your hair cut, haven't you?'

    *Ganguly had a large opinion of his batting prowess. He was approached by a KSCA member who couldn't resist saying to him,
    'You know, whenever I watch you bat, I always wonder...'
    'I know, I know. How I do it.'
    'No. Why you do it.

    *Sachin was out first ball. On the long walk back to the pavilion he had to pass the incoming batsman Ganguly,
    'Hard luck, man,' smirked Ganguly.
    'Yes. It's a shame I had to be right in the middle of a hat trick,

    *Q: Which was the hottest place in B'lore Chinnaswami Stadium for the past few days?
    A: The seat Ganguly was sitting in while in the Pavillion.

    *Ganguly to donate all his bats to charity.
    "I don't require a bat nowadays", said the Indian southpaw.

    *Dravid's latest comment on Ganguly: "In the pavillion, there's God, and then there's Ganguly (always there)".

    *Dinesh Karthick confesses that his skills in getting ready and padded have improved a lot.
    As soon as Ganguly goes to bat, I know there is very little time in getting ready.
    "I must have broken world records a few times in this series" , says the Indian dimunitive wicketkeeper.

    *Best Seller by Ganguly: Back to the Pavillion in 2 minutes

    *'Face bouncers without fear by SC Ganguly'

    *We batted first after the toss was won but soon, the score was four for one.
    Imagine the batsman next was who before you know, it was for four for two. When a century was needed, a duck was shameless looking at the replays, Ganguly was clueless. He just keeps coming back soon to home the only choice left for him is naukri.com.

  3. #3
    School Boy/Girl Cricketer Toecrusher's Avatar
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    I dunno why the joke site link has been blocked out??????

  4. #4
    State Captain Dizzy #4's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Toecrusher
    I dunno why the joke site link has been blocked out??????
    lol, nice jokes


    Ifor the stars, it's ************
    Jason Gillespie = Best Bowler and Batsman of South Australia
    CW Record Stats http://forum.cricketweb.net/showthread.php?t=23910


  5. #5
    State Captain Dizzy #4's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Toecrusher
    I dunno why the joke site link has been blocked out??????
    lol, nice jokes


    **EDITED BY JAMES***

    Its blocked out for a reason.

  6. #6
    U19 Cricketer Hazza's Avatar
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    Great jokes

  7. #7
    International Vice-Captain open365's Avatar
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    some are funny but most are just slight re workings of the same unfunny joke.

    the hair cut one was classic though.

  8. #8
    Cricket Spectator SuperPiety's Avatar
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    Awwwww god absolutely hilarious mate!
    Full time Arsenal and Hampshire fan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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    Cricket, Lovely Cricket Pratters's Avatar
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  10. #10
    International Regular King_Ponting's Avatar
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    ^^ hmm that doesnt even make sense.

  11. #11
    Hall of Fame Member Sanz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by King_Ponting
    ^^ hmm that doesnt even make sense.

  12. #12
    Cricket, Lovely Cricket Pratters's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by King_Ponting
    ^^ hmm that doesnt even make sense.
    Does if you think Tata Indicom is a mobile phone service provider like Orange is internationally.

  13. #13
    International Regular King_Ponting's Avatar
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    must be missing something..... still dont get it

  14. #14
    International Captain Sudeep's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by King_Ponting
    must be missing something..... still dont get it
    Tata Indicom is the cheapest phone service provider. Low rates, very low rates. Which is why lower than what Ganguly scores.

    And the pulse rate, if I'm not wrong, is 1 or 2 seconds. Which means, you talk for 4 seconds, you get charged for that. So their pulse rate (1 or 2 seconds, don't remember exactly) is more than the time spend by Ganguly on the crease.

    Never good to explain a joke.
    “If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have on your hands is a nonworking cat.” - Douglas Adams

  15. #15
    International Vice-Captain 33/3from3.3's Avatar
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    what does ganguly and a prostitute have in common
    they both walk in, slap some balls, and leave
    Maria - Due December

    Quote Originally Posted by NUFAN View Post
    "So this is what it feels like to be on top of a batsmen".
    RIP Fardin Qayummi - 15th April 2006



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