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Confessions of a rampant Flame Baiter

sqwerty

U19 Cricketer
It's time to come clean.

I have reached the point (50 posts) where I have forgotten what I have written in the past and feel at risk of contradicting and therefore exposing myself with future posts.

As such my credibility is at stake. I am prepared to concede that most of my posts have been unashamed attempts at provoking a response and have had a degree of success .

I had intended to continue along my merry ways until the end of the Ashes series but feel it's better to lay it all on the line while the series is still alive.

I can't remember what I have boldly stated in the past and can't be bothered rereading it so here are my honest opinions on all topics I vaguely remember having commented on (which is basically the Ashes):

1. The Ashes

1.1 - Contrary to what most Australians felt, I always said this Ashes series was going to be close. I had always said before the series that Harmison, Flintoff and Strauss will make all the difference from English sides of the past (well Flintoff has anyway). But I thought the Australian batsmen would be able to hold off any attack, especially in England where they've always made it look so easy in the past.

1.2 - Australia have been absolutely pulverised by England's pace attack which, working as a quartet, is the best all-round pace attack I have seen in a while. It's one thing to have 1 or 2 quality new ball bowlers, but quite another to be able sustain the pressure with change bowlers who provide no let-up for the batsmen.

1.3 - Australia has turned up TOTALLY unprepared and full of expectation of another walk in the park and have been TOTALLY found out.

1.4 - Matty Hayden has looked deadset ordinary and will struggle to turn it around in the fifth test. Having said that I wouldn't bring anyone new in at this stage. At least Hayden has had a good look (well a bit of a look) at the bowling for 4 tests.

1.5 - Gilchrist is quality and has less of a technical problem than Hayden but still needs to sort it out after the series. Could come good at the oval though.

1.6 - Langer, despite being described as having a reasonable series has looked ordinary and has looked like getting out all through every innings he's played.

1.7 - The Spaniard has been a revelation and has looked dangerous bowling into the rough all series even when not taking wickets (except that one spell in the first test when they belted him)

1.8 - Trescothick, whilst not posting any huge scores has been pivotal in Englands success, getting the Poms off to flyers, and played the series-turning innings in the first dig at Edgbaston when he put Lee through the covers about 20 times in the first 6 overs.

1.9 - Harmison has been disappointing and has appeared to be the only English bowler lacking control. He has probably troubled the Australian tail the least of all England's bowlers.

1.10 - After getting off to a flyer in the first test, Pieterson has been totally overshadowed by Flintoff and his batting/catching/confidence/hair colour has suffered as a result.

1.11 - Flintoff, despite still reminding me of a park cricketer in many of his mannerisms (eg. holding his pose after a forward defensive and having a good look at himself & the way his helmet always falls over his eyes when he runs so that he has to tilt his head back to see out of it), has single handedly put England in the position they are in, the only other players in the series to make a mark being Jones and Warne. Gotta say, before this series I thought he would make a big difference not so much for his cricket ability but for his 'stand up and fight' qualities. I always thought he was a good all-rounder without being great at either discipline.

1.11 - If Jones is unfit England would be unwise to go for a Collingwood or the like considering the aggressive way they have played to date. Any attempt to bolster the batting at the expense of the bowling in order to have a better chance at drawing the game would play into Australia's hands.

1.12 - The bad umpiring decisions whilst probably having a more detrimental effect to Australia's cause than England's have done so because England have cashed in far better when they've received favourable ones.

1.13 - Ponting's outburst, whilst contrary to the spirit of cricket, was a bit of a storm in a teacup really, and he embarrassed himself more than anything else.

1.14 - England have outplayed Australia in all departments - batting, bowling, fielding and are grossly unlucky that the series is still alive.

1.15 - Sqwerty's combined Ashes XI (at this stage of the series) is as follows (in batting order):

1. Trescothick
2. Strauss
3. Ponting
4. Vaughan (c)
5. Clarke
6. Flintoff
7. Gilchrist
8. Warne
9. McGrath
10. Jones
11. Harmison

12. Pratt
13. Lee

Though if the side was picked position by position:

1. Trescothick
2. Strauss
3. ummmmmmm - Vaughan (tough one - better captain)
4. errrr, another tough one - Martyn (lots of catches to Bell but Martyn's been ripped off more with the bat)
5. yet another tough one - Clarke - at least he's caught one
6. Flintoff
7. Gilchrist - catching (not batting) better - just
8. Warne
9. Lee
10. Harmison
11. Jones

12. Pratt
13. McGrath


note: corrected in accordance with Beleg post below

2. Other

2.0 - Having conceded all of the above, for some reason I still have this strange feeing that Australia are a good thing for the 5th test (weather permitting). With England having everything to lose and Australia with nothing to lose I suspect there might be a different complexion over this game


Anyway, that is all I have to offer.

Sqwerty must be retired off now. His work is done.

Look out for a new Forum member coming soon
 
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honestbharani

Whatever it takes!!!
well, I hope some other flame baiters take your cue and come clean.


It is good that we are about to gain a really good insightful forum member here at CW at the expense of a flame baiter. Thanks a lot for that. :)
 

Beleg

International Regular
Please don't wholly give up your flame-baiting ways. Moderation is always the key. :p

In any case, welcome aboard, though I daresay I dont agree with most of your positions. :)
 

Linda

International Vice-Captain
Wait a sec... how does Australia not have anything to lose? How about THE ASHES?!

Im sorry, Im getting quite worked up about this. I dont know if I could cope if the above occured...
 

sqwerty

U19 Cricketer
Linda said:
Wait a sec... how does Australia not have anything to lose? How about THE ASHES?!

Im sorry, Im getting quite worked up about this. I dont know if I could cope if the above occured...
not what I'm saying..........nothing to lose since we're already 2-1 down (ie..it's almost as bad as it gets - we've virtually lost 'em already). the only way is up - with a win.

England have got everything to lose (ie. they have effectively got the ashes in their pocket and can only lose them from here).

They don't need this match to take place - full stop !
 

luckyeddie

Cricket Web Staff Member
I have thoroughly enjoyed your company, squerty (and it was flaming of the Green Chartreuse in the glass variety as opposed to the roaring petroleum conflagration), but one word of advice (serious)...

If you wish to retire your userid and come back as a 'new' person, please email the site owner (James Nixon) with your intentions first because the rules are 'one userid per person' and you might find yourself getting zapped at IP Address level.

(same goes for any of you)
 

sqwerty

U19 Cricketer
luckyeddie said:
I have thoroughly enjoyed your company, squerty (and it was flaming of the Green Chartreuse in the glass variety as opposed to the roaring petroleum conflagration), but one word of advice (serious)...

If you wish to retire your userid and come back as a 'new' person, please email the site owner (James Nixon) with your intentions first because the rules are 'one userid per person' and you might find yourself getting zapped at IP Address level.

(same goes for any of you)
bugger that.....sqwerty (with a 'w' that is) lives on.
 

SJS

Hall of Fame Member
Remarkable Post Sqwerty (I just at this moment realised that the last six letters in your name are the first six on the key board), not just for the contents but the spirit of it. Well done.

I disagree with your selection of Vaughan over Ponting for the number three position in the second team. If it is for the better one down batsman(not withstanding captaincy), I , personally, would still take Ponting.

Cheers
 

steds

Hall of Fame Member
BoyBrumby said:
I think Sqwerty is the dear, departed Scallywag & I claim my five pounds! :p
You can also claim a look at your e-mail inbox if you like ;)



*nudge nudge*
 

Slow Love™

International Captain
BoyBrumby said:
I think Sqwerty is the dear, departed Scallywag & I claim my five pounds! :p
Never in a million years.

I think Sqwerty is the dear, departed Shane Warne & I claim MY five pounds. :)
 

luckyeddie

Cricket Web Staff Member
Slow Love™ said:
Never in a million years.

I think Sqwerty is the dear, departed Shane Warne & I claim MY five pounds. :)
Sqwerty seems to have a sharp, get-up-your-nose-luckyeddie-style-type brain, the other two kept theirs very well hidden and I claim both of your five poundses
 

luckyeddie

Cricket Web Staff Member
vic_orthdox said:
Ahem...

:p

Selective quoting is a beautiful thing
Quite deliberate.

Two people both claimed five pounds, therefore I (mentally) treated each of their 'five pounds' as a separate singular entity. In order to then treat the two separate units of folding moolah as a brace, I had to invent the plural concept 'five poundses' as opposed to the wholly misleading and arguably singular 'ten pounds'.

(phew)

It's a good job I didn't use the standard comic term 'Yoinks' which is usually applicable in such financial-gain instances, although it in itself is misused unless accompanied by the phrase 'Now for a feast', closely followed by the purchase of an unfeasibly large plate of mashed potato with a plethora of sausages semi-impaled at increasingly improbable angles.

Clearer?

For my next trick, I shall argue that Richard's 'First chance' average is the way to go.
 
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sqwerty

U19 Cricketer
luckyeddie said:
Sqwerty seems to have a sharp, get-up-your-nose-luckyeddie-style-type brain, the other two kept theirs very well hidden and I claim both of your five poundses
Yep...gotta say Sqwerty hasn't reincarnated from anything and feels guilty that people are losing money on speculation.
 

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