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Thread: Jokes in the Herald Sun

  1. #1
    School Boy/Girl Cricketer musha_13's Avatar
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    Jokes in the Herald Sun

    These jokes were in the Herald Sun today (Melbourne Paper)

    Q. What does Geraint Jones and Michael Jackson have in common?
    A. They both wear gloves for no apparent reason

    Q. What is the height of optimism?
    A. An English batsman applying sunscreen.

    Q. What does Ashley Giles put in his hands to make sure the next ball
    almost always takes a wicket?

    A. A bat.

    Q. What would Glen McGrath be if he was an Englishman?
    A. An allrounder. THE BEST cos its true!!!!

    Q. What advantage do Kevin Pieterson, Andrew Strauss and Geraint Jones
    have over the rest of their team-mates?

    A. At least they can say they're not really English.

    Q. What is the English version of a hat-trick?
    A. Three runs in three balls.

    Q. What do you call an Englishman with 100 runs against his name?

    A. A bowler.

    Q. What is the most proficient form of footwork displayed by English
    batsmen?

    A. The walk back to the pavilion.

    Q. Who has the easiest job in the English squad?

    A. The guy who removes the red ball marks from the bats.

    Q. Why is Andrew Flintoff the unluckiest English player?
    A. Because he was born in England.

    Q. What does "Ashes" stand for?

    A. Another Sad Horrific English Series.

    Q. What's the English version of LBW?

    A. Lost, Beaten, Walloped.

    Q. Who spends the most time on the crease of anyone in the English
    team?

    A. The person who ironed the cricket whites.


    Quite funny

  2. #2
    Hall of Fame Member steds's Avatar
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    Quite pathetic. If you're to make jokes about the England team, at least try to make them funny jokes.



    ...but then again Aussies aren't intelligent enough to understand the concept of homour

  3. #3
    Hall of Fame Member age_master's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by steds
    ...but then again Aussies aren't intelligent enough to understand the concept of homour
    please explain homour for us unintelligent Aussies
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    Hall of Fame Member _Ed_'s Avatar
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    Seen most of them before but this one is great:
    Quote Originally Posted by musha_13
    Q. What does Geraint Jones and Michael Jackson have in common?
    A. They both wear gloves for no apparent reason


  5. #5
    Global Moderator vic_orthdox's Avatar
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    I think that the Hun trot them out every Ashes series.

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    Hall of Fame Member FaaipDeOiad's Avatar
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    If you needed any further evidence that the Scum stands alongside the Telegraph as the worst paper in Australia, here it is.
    I know a place where a royal flush
    Can never beat a pair

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    U19 Vice-Captain crickhowell's Avatar
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    Q. What advantage do Kevin Pieterson, Andrew Strauss and Geraint Jones
    have over the rest of their team-mates? [/B]
    A. At least they can say they're not really English.

    Simon Jones isnt really english either
    C'mon COLTS

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    Cricket Web: All-Time Legend andyc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by steds
    Quite pathetic. If you're to make jokes about the England team, at least try to make them funny jokes.



    ...but then again Aussies aren't intelligent enough to understand the concept of homour
    but we are intelligent enough to understand the concept of catching
    Quote Originally Posted by flibbertyjibber View Post
    Only a bunch of convicts having been beaten 3-0 and gone 9 tests without a win and won just 1 in 11 against England could go into the home series saying they will win. England will win in Australia again this winter as they are a better side which they have shown this summer. 3-0 doesn't lie girls.

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    International Regular King_Ponting's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by andyc
    but we are intelligent enough to understand the concept of catching
    lol

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    Cricket Web Staff Member archie mac's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by steds
    Quite pathetic. If you're to make jokes about the England team, at least try to make them funny jokes.



    ...but then again Aussies aren't intelligent enough to understand the concept of homour
    If your going to insult us, at least mention the convict thing, it's about as old and original as most of those jokes.
    You know it makes sense.

  11. #11
    Hall of Fame Member age_master's Avatar
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    i cant say id heard the first one before, the rest were brought out after the first ashes test last time and probably long before that

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    Hall of Fame Member steds's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by andyc
    but we are intelligent enough to understand the concept of catching

    Brilliant call mate
    :applausingpolitelywhilstgrittingteethandmuttering racistcomment:

  13. #13
    International Regular King_Ponting's Avatar
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    Interesting the songs that the barmy army have come up with this series.......... So hopeful yet so unrealistic

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    Hall of Fame Member luckyeddie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by age_master
    please explain homour for us unintelligent Aussies
    What do you call an Aussie with half a brain?
    Gifted.

    Sorry. I don't know any more.
    Nigel Clough's Black and White Army, beating Forest away with 10 men

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    International Debutant DJellett's Avatar
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    LOL @ the Jones/Jackson gag....loved it...
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