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Jokes in the Herald Sun

musha_13

School Boy/Girl Cricketer
These jokes were in the Herald Sun today (Melbourne Paper)

Q. What does Geraint Jones and Michael Jackson have in common?
A. They both wear gloves for no apparent reason

Q. What is the height of optimism?
A. An English batsman applying sunscreen.

Q. What does Ashley Giles put in his hands to make sure the next ball
almost always takes a wicket?

A. A bat.

Q. What would Glen McGrath be if he was an Englishman?
A. An allrounder. THE BEST cos its true!!!!

Q. What advantage do Kevin Pieterson, Andrew Strauss and Geraint Jones
have over the rest of their team-mates?

A. At least they can say they're not really English.

Q. What is the English version of a hat-trick?
A. Three runs in three balls.

Q. What do you call an Englishman with 100 runs against his name?

A. A bowler.

Q. What is the most proficient form of footwork displayed by English
batsmen?

A. The walk back to the pavilion.

Q. Who has the easiest job in the English squad?

A. The guy who removes the red ball marks from the bats.

Q. Why is Andrew Flintoff the unluckiest English player?
A. Because he was born in England.

Q. What does "Ashes" stand for?

A. Another Sad Horrific English Series.

Q. What's the English version of LBW?

A. Lost, Beaten, Walloped.

Q. Who spends the most time on the crease of anyone in the English
team?

A. The person who ironed the cricket whites.


Quite funny
 

steds

Hall of Fame Member
Quite pathetic. If you're to make jokes about the England team, at least try to make them funny jokes.



...but then again Aussies aren't intelligent enough to understand the concept of homour
 

_Ed_

Request Your Custom Title Now!
Seen most of them before but this one is great:
musha_13 said:
Q. What does Geraint Jones and Michael Jackson have in common?
A. They both wear gloves for no apparent reason
:laugh:
 

FaaipDeOiad

Hall of Fame Member
If you needed any further evidence that the Scum stands alongside the Telegraph as the worst paper in Australia, here it is.
 

crickhowell

U19 Vice-Captain
Q. What advantage do Kevin Pieterson, Andrew Strauss and Geraint Jones
have over the rest of their team-mates? [/B]
A. At least they can say they're not really English.

Simon Jones isnt really english either
 

andyc

Cricket Web: All-Time Legend
steds said:
Quite pathetic. If you're to make jokes about the England team, at least try to make them funny jokes.



...but then again Aussies aren't intelligent enough to understand the concept of homour
but we are intelligent enough to understand the concept of catching
 

archie mac

International Coach
steds said:
Quite pathetic. If you're to make jokes about the England team, at least try to make them funny jokes.



...but then again Aussies aren't intelligent enough to understand the concept of homour
If your going to insult us, at least mention the convict thing, it's about as old and original as most of those jokes.
 

age_master

Hall of Fame Member
i cant say id heard the first one before, the rest were brought out after the first ashes test last time and probably long before that
 

steds

Hall of Fame Member
andyc said:
but we are intelligent enough to understand the concept of catching
:lol:
Brilliant call mate
:notworthy :clapping: :applausingpolitelywhilstgrittingteethandmutteringracistcomment:
 

King_Ponting

International Regular
Interesting the songs that the barmy army have come up with this series.......... So hopeful yet so unrealistic
 
musha_13 said:
These jokes were in the Herald Sun today (Melbourne Paper)

Q. What does Geraint Jones and Michael Jackson have in common?
A. They both wear gloves for no apparent reason

Q. What is the height of optimism?
A. An English batsman applying sunscreen.

Q. What does Ashley Giles put in his hands to make sure the next ball
almost always takes a wicket?

A. A bat.

Q. What would Glen McGrath be if he was an Englishman?
A. An allrounder. THE BEST cos its true!!!!

Q. What advantage do Kevin Pieterson, Andrew Strauss and Geraint Jones
have over the rest of their team-mates?

A. At least they can say they're not really English.

Q. What is the English version of a hat-trick?
A. Three runs in three balls.

Q. What do you call an Englishman with 100 runs against his name?

A. A bowler.

Q. What is the most proficient form of footwork displayed by English
batsmen?

A. The walk back to the pavilion.

Q. Who has the easiest job in the English squad?

A. The guy who removes the red ball marks from the bats.

Q. Why is Andrew Flintoff the unluckiest English player?
A. Because he was born in England.

Q. What does "Ashes" stand for?

A. Another Sad Horrific English Series.

Q. What's the English version of LBW?

A. Lost, Beaten, Walloped.

Q. Who spends the most time on the crease of anyone in the English
team?

A. The person who ironed the cricket whites.


Quite funny
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
 

andyc

Cricket Web: All-Time Legend
matty1818 said:
could have fooled me. Humble pie convicts? have a nice slice.
Oh geez it's easy to come back and have a go at me two matches afterwards, isn't it? My, you are a big man.

edit: Sorry, I've had a bad day
 

rockymazza

Cricket Spectator
Hey, im an England fan but I have to laugh at that. Hopefully we will be able to make some jokes about you aussies after the Ashes.
 

The Foxtrot

U19 12th Man
hey lucky eddie, do u know what is funny, that all australians are really englishmen (i hate the sound of that) and also you, as the english, introduced cricket to us convicts and we are better than you.
Bwah hahahahahahaha
suckers
 

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