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What will you write in your email to Steve Harmison?

Magrat Garlick

Global Moderator
Steve,

cheers for the nice moments.

Oh, and could you please put the city of Ashington on a boat and take it with you the next time you feel homesick?

Yours,

Håkon (Viking-descendant cricket fan)
 

cpr

International Coach
To Steve

Now that Chris Tremletts made the England squad, does it feel weird to have to look upwards to talk to a team mate? Now that your no longer the biggest and therefore scariest, will you finally have a shave you scruffy sod
 

steds

Hall of Fame Member
cpr said:
To Steve

Now that Chris Tremletts made the England squad, does it feel weird to have to look upwards to talk to a team mate? Now that your no longer the biggest and therefore scariest, will you finally have a shave you scruffy sod
"PS. Do you watch Diagnosis Murder? I think it's great...but NOT Murder She Wrote, though" :ph34r: :p
 

steds

Hall of Fame Member
steds said:
Dear Mr. Harmison,

Next time you see that filthy little Leeds Rhinos fan Gareth Batty, will you please punch him on behalf of all of the supporters of St. Helens RLFC, and rugby league fans everywhere infact?
Dear Mr. Harmison,
I haven't had a reply since I last wrote. Gareth Batty must be quite hard for a Rhinos fan. Either that or him and that Wigan Warriors supporter **BOO!!**HISS!!** Freddie Flintoff joined forces to destroy you. If that hasn't happened yet, watch your back. Them Wigan/Leeds/Bradford fans are f*cking evil b*stards. I have a question for you today, Mr Harmison. How demeaning is it to share the new ball with a Yorkie (Matthew Hoggard)? I would never wish that dishonour on anyone.
 

vic_orthdox

Global Moderator
steds said:
Dear Mr. Harmison,
I haven't had a reply since I last wrote. Gareth Batty must be quite hard for a Rhinos fan. Either that or him and that Wigan Warriors supporter **BOO!!**HISS!!** Freddie Flintoff joined forces to destroy you. If that hasn't happened yet, watch your back. Them Wigan/Leeds/Bradford fans are f*cking evil b*stards. I have a question for you today, Mr Harmison. How demeaning is it to share the new ball with a Yorkie (Matthew Hoggard)? I would never wish that dishonour on anyone.
:laugh: :lol: :laughing:
 

Top_Cat

Request Your Custom Title Now!
Dear Steve,

I wrote but you still ain't callin
I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom
I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not-a got him
There probably was a problem at the post office or something
Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot him
but anyways; **** it, what's been up? Man how's your daughter?
My girlfriend's pregnant too, I'm bout to be a father
If I have a daughter, guess what I'ma call her?
I'ma name her Bonnie
I read about your Uncle Ronnie too I'm sorry
I had a friend kill himself over some bitch who didn't want him
I know you probably hear this everyday, but I'm your biggest fan
I even got the underground **** that you did with Skam
I got a room full of your posters and your pictures man
I like the **** you did with Ruckus too, that **** was phat
Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back,
just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan

This is Stan
 

vic_orthdox

Global Moderator
Dear Steve,

I wrote but you still ain't callin
I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom
Ricky Ponting's ****, once again I see you got him
There's probably a problem with his front foot or something
Then again, look at his captaincy - it's rotten.
but anyways; **** it, what's been up? Man how's your daughter?
I heard you don't like when your away from her - play at home you rather
If I have a daughter, guess what I'ma call her?
"Wayward" - me and the duck think its for the better.
I read about your Uncle Ronnie too I'm sorry
Now that Hussain is gone, can't get a game under Vaughny
I know you probably hear this everyday, but I'm your biggest fan
I even caught the ball you bowled at Lilac Hill - it hit me in the stands
I got a room full of your posters and your pictures man
Except the full body shot, it wouldn't fit even if the camera panned
Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back,
And make sure you tell Andrew Symonds he owes me 30 pints and cigarettes - 1 pack.

This is Stan
 
Last edited:

marc71178

Eyes not spreadsheets
Dear Steve,

After your superb batting against the West Indies last year and South Africa in the winter, do you really think people prefer watching Matt Prior than watching you?
 

luckyeddie

Cricket Web Staff Member
How on Earth do you follow those? OK, I'll try.

<quack>

Dear Steve:

I wrote but you still ain’t callin
Hardly surprising I would wager – my guess is that Warney’s stolen your pager.
He sent me a text back in the autumn – said his mum had bought ‘em.
There probably was a mix-up with the prescription or something.
I hear he wears girls’ dresses – If I see him, well, I’ll dot him
but anyways; bucket (or something) what’s been up? Man, guess you oughta
use Shane’s excuse if you’re bout to be a father:
“It’s a pitch report. She was like that when I got here.
And I wore a Johnny”.
I read that Shep’s retiring and I’m sorry.
Mind you, standing at square leg to your bowling’s like jumping in front of a lorry –
At least it was. You probably hear this every day but Richard’s not your biggest fan
He Photoshopped that underground shot too – yes, with McGrath and that ram.
He got a room full of your posters, throws darts at ‘em man.
Not heard much of his ruckus of late – he’s a prat.
Anyways, I hope when we get them Aussies on the rack
They just bring you on and we get them ashes back.

This is DD
 

cpr

International Coach
steds said:
"PS. Do you watch Diagnosis Murder? I think it's great...but NOT Murder She Wrote, though" :ph34r: :p
Dont Diss **** Van Dyke!!!

And i suppose it all depends if durham/England are batting first or not, whether he'll be in the pavilion.

And classic stan skit there vic :)

--
Edit: oh wow, nice anti swearing there, suppose i best call him Richard
 
Last edited:

vic_orthdox

Global Moderator
luckyeddie said:
How on Earth do you follow those? OK, I'll try.

<quack>

Dear Steve:

I wrote but you still ain’t callin
Hardly surprising I would wager – my guess is that Warney’s stolen your pager.
He sent me a text back in the autumn – said his mum had bought ‘em.
There probably was a mix-up with the prescription or something.
I hear he wears girls’ dresses – If I see him, well, I’ll dot him
but anyways; bucket (or something) what’s been up? Man, guess you oughta
use Shane’s excuse if you’re bout to be a father:
“It’s a pitch report. She was like that when I got here.
And I wore a Johnny”.
I read that Shep’s retiring and I’m sorry.
Mind you, standing at square leg to your bowling’s like jumping in front of a lorry –
At least it was. You probably hear this every day but Richard’s not your biggest fan
He Photoshopped that underground shot too – yes, with McGrath and that ram.
He got a room full of your posters, throws darts at ‘em man.
Not heard much of his ruckus of late – he’s a prat.
Anyways, I hope when we get them Aussies on the rack
They just bring you on and we get them ashes back.

This is DD
8 Mile - represent!

*does stupid sign with his hand*
 

Umpire Money

State Vice-Captain
Hey Steve,

Have you seen that movie War of the Worlds?
Good stuff that hey.
Do you remember that time you came here for that Lilac Hill game... ahh the memories.
I think you only bowled 8 wides in one over there. What happened about that?

Do you think the climate has changed due to greenhouse gas emitions? I mean look at the evidence.

Your Pal
Jason
 

luckyeddie

Cricket Web Staff Member
Jason, you ROCK - short, sweet and to the point.

As far as the others from whom I blatantly stole a great idea - :p
 

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