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I want your Sledge Hammer

archie mac

International Coach
Not on here long, so if this has already been done happy to delete. Or maybe I have it in the wrong section?

Just for a laugh I thought we might list some GOOD HUMOURED 'sledges'. The only rule is just one per post.

Javed Miandad to Merve Hughes "you remind me of a fat bus conductor"

After Hughes dismisses him, as he runs past the batsman he says to Miandad

"tickets please" :D
 

King_Ponting

International Regular
Shane warne, even tho the camera man said it was him we all know it was warnie, to the stump mic. "Muller cant bowl, cant bat" . In the next pura cup match muller to the stump mic "5 for the match warnie". Actually thats not that funny oh well who gives a &*@#
 

vic_orthdox

Global Moderator
Rod Marsh to an Englishman: How's your wife and my kids?

And then the infamous one with a West Indian batsman (there are that many versions going around about it, so I'll just put in a generic one) facing a County trundler after a massive night on the gas, and playing and missing a few times. The young upstart goes up to the batsman and says "its about three inches wide, its red and its got white stitches. Why don't you try and hit it?"

Next ball Sobers/Viv/Lara hits the ball out of the ground, and says "You know what it looks like, go fetch it."
 

archie mac

International Coach
vic_orthdox said:
Rod Marsh to an Englishman: How's your wife and my kids?

And then the infamous one with a West Indian batsman (there are that many versions going around about it, so I'll just put in a generic one) facing a County trundler after a massive night on the gas, and playing and missing a few times. The young upstart goes up to the batsman and says "its about three inches wide, its red and its got white stitches. Why don't you try and hit it?"

Next ball Sobers/Viv/Lara hits the ball out of the ground, and says "You know what it looks like, go fetch it."
Must be tired, read the Marsh one three times before I finally got it!
:wacko: :D
 

FaaipDeOiad

Hall of Fame Member
During the Lords test in the 1989 Ashes, Merv Hughes supposedly said, after beating Robin Smith's bat, "you can't ****in' bat!". Smith cracked the next ball for four, and during Merv's follow-through said "hey Merv, we make a fine pair, I can't ****in' bat and you can't ****in' bowl!".
 

LongHopCassidy

International Captain
Merv Hughes was staring at Viv Richards for longer than was necessary during a Test match.
Soon, Viv piped up.
IVAR: 'Don't you be staring at me, man. In my culture we just bowl.'
Merv had nothing to say, until he bowled him several balls later.
MGH: 'In my culture, it's the custom to say, "P*ss off."'
 

masterblaster

International Captain
vic_orthdox said:
Rod Marsh to an Englishman: How's your wife and my kids?

And then the infamous one with a West Indian batsman (there are that many versions going around about it, so I'll just put in a generic one) facing a County trundler after a massive night on the gas, and playing and missing a few times. The young upstart goes up to the batsman and says "its about three inches wide, its red and its got white stitches. Why don't you try and hit it?"

Next ball Sobers/Viv/Lara hits the ball out of the ground, and says "You know what it looks like, go fetch it."
I think that second case was Ian Botham bowling to Viv Richards during the days Viv was playing County Cricket in England.
 

vic_orthdox

Global Moderator
I think that if you ask Ian Botham, every famous sledge was about him/by him/to him. Remember him claiming the one about Lillee, after Botham kept on playing and missing Lillee said "What about you just hold the bat still and I'll try to hit it?"
 

marc71178

Eyes not spreadsheets
masterblaster said:
I think that second case was Ian Botham bowling to Viv Richards during the days Viv was playing County Cricket in England.
It was Greg Thomas.

Don't think Botham ever played against Viv in County Cricket.

If he did, I can imagine it would've been fun to watch!
 

BoyBrumby

Englishman
I'm sure most people have heard it before, but my favourite is a response to a sledge. Annoyed at a bit of tail-end resistance from Zimbabwe Glenn McGrath inquired of Eddo Brandes,

"Brandes, how come you're so fat?"

Eddo replies,

"'Cos every time I f*ck your wife she gives me a biscuit!" :D
 

Adamc

Cricketer Of The Year
BoyBrumby said:
I'm sure most people have heard it before, but my favourite is a response to a sledge. Annoyed at a bit of tail-end resistance from Zimbabwe Glenn McGrath inquired of Eddo Brandes,

"Brandes, how come you're so fat?"

Eddo replies,

"'Cos every time I f*ck your wife she gives me a biscuit!" :D
McGrath's sledging seems to backfire quite a lot. I guess most people will be familiar with the Sarwan incident, so I needn't repeat it here.
 

SpeedKing

U19 Vice-Captain
archie mac said:
Not on here long, so if this has already been done happy to delete. Or maybe I have it in the wrong section?

Just for a laugh I thought we might list some GOOD HUMOURED 'sledges'. The only rule is just one per post.

Javed Miandad to Merve Hughes "you remind me of a fat bus conductor"

After Hughes dismisses him, as he runs past the batsman he says to Miandad

"tickets please" :D
tickets ......hahahahahaha LOL. never heard that one before , good one
 

andyc

Cricket Web: All-Time Legend
marc71178 said:
It was Greg Thomas.

Don't think Botham ever played against Viv in County Cricket.

If he did, I can imagine it would've been fun to watch!
twas indeed greg thomas. i remember viv telling us that at the shanghai sixes last year
 

andyc

Cricket Web: All-Time Legend
BoyBrumby said:
I'm sure most people have heard it before, but my favourite is a response to a sledge. Annoyed at a bit of tail-end resistance from Zimbabwe Glenn McGrath inquired of Eddo Brandes,

"Brandes, how come you're so fat?"

Eddo replies,

"'Cos every time I f*ck your wife she gives me a biscuit!" :D
:laugh::laugh:

that one's hilarious. don't think i'd heard it before
 

chekmeout

U19 Debutant
This is an entire list of them I found on the Internet... Many of them are repeated ... Anyways check them out...

Famous Cricketing Sledges

1. Trueman and Aussie batsman. In an Ashes Test during early 1960's Trueman was fielding close to the gate from the pavilion. As a new batsman came out he turned to shut the gate, Trueman said "Don't bother son, you won't be out there long enough."


2. Rod Marsh and Ian Botham. When Botham took guard in a Ashes match, Marsh welcomed him to the wicket with the immortal words: "So how's your wife and my kids?"


3. Daryll Cullinan and Shane Warne. As Cullinan was on his way to the wicket, Warne told him he had been waiting 2 years for another chance to humiliate him. "Looks like you spent it eating," Cullinan retorted.


4. Adam Parore and Daryll Cullinan. Because Cullinan is well known for being Warne's bunny, Kiwi keeper Parore greeted the South African, carefully playing the first ball from Kiwi Chris Harris, with a cry of: "Bowled Warnie!"


5. Glenn McGrath and Eddo Brandes. After Brandes played and missed at a McGrath delivery, the Aussie bowler politely enquired: "Oi, Brandes, why are you so fat?" "Cos every time I f*ck your wife she gives me a biscuit,"Brandes replied.


6. Robin Smith and Merv Hughes. During 1989 Lords Test Hughes said to Smith after he played and missed: "You can't f*cking bat". Smith to Hughes after he smacked him to the boundary: "Hey Merv, we make a fine pair. I can't f*cking bat and you can't f*cking bowl."


7. Merv Hughes and Javed Miandad. During 1991 Adelaide Test, Javed called Merv a fat bus conductor. A few balls latter Merv dismissed Javed: "Tickets please", Merv called out as he ran past the departing batsman.


8. Merv Hughes and Viv Richards. During a test match in the West Indies Hughes didn't say a word to Viv, but continued to stare at him. After deliveries. "This is my island, my culture. Don't you be staring at me. In my culture we just bowl." Merv didn't reply, but after he dismissed him he announced to the batsman: "In my culture we just say f*ck off."


9. Ricky Ponting and Shaun Pollock. After going past the outside edge with a couple of deliveries, Pollock told Ponting: "It's red, round and weighs about five ounces." Unfortunately for Pollock, the next ball was hammered out of the ground. Ponting to Pollock: "you know what it looks like, now go find it."


10. And of course you can't forget Ian Healy's legendary comment which was picked up by the Channel 9 microphones when Arjuna Ranatunga called for a runner on a particularly hot night during a one dayer at the SCG..."You don't get a runner for being an overweight, unfit, fat c*nt!!!"


11. Can't remember the player or the exact details but went something like Mark Waugh standing at second slip, the new player to the crease playing and missing the first ball. Mark "oh I remember you from a couple of years ago. You were sh*t then, and you're f*cking useless now". Kiwi - (Turning around) - Yeah, that's me. And when I was there you were going out with that old, ugly slut. And now I hear you've married her. You dumb c*nt.<o:p></o:p>


12. In a tour match, against Hansie Cronjes province. Cronje was at the non strikers end, there was a short chubby batsman on strike. Ian Healy yelled to Warne, (I think) "Bowl a Mars Bar half way down...We'll get him stumped" The Aussies and Cronje were all in hysterics. the batsman's retort: "Nah, Boonie fielding at short leg will be onto it before I can move”.
 

King_Ponting

International Regular
archie mac said:
Just for a laugh I thought we might list some GOOD HUMOURED 'sledges'. The only rule is just one per post.

:D

I think u may have broken the rules there checkmeout.............................................
 

Top_Cat

Request Your Custom Title Now!
I'm paraphrasing but apparently when David Steele (this guy: http://content.cricinfo.com/england/content/player/20345.html) came out to bat in an Ashes series in the 70's, Rod Marsh said a derogatory comment aimed at the fact that Steele was a bit older than the rest to which Steele replied something along the lines of "Hey Marshy, you better get used to the sight of my backside (what he actually said starts with 'a', ends with 'e' :)) because you're going to be seeing a lot of it this summer!"
 

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