The Worst Ever Test Team !!!

[SJS]

Here is your chance to make a team with a difference.

Conditions.

1. The team should contain

1. two openers
2. three middle order batsmen
3. one all rounder
4. one wicket keeper
5. four bowlers

2. The bowlers should contain three fast/medium pace and one spinner if the all rounder is a spinner OR two spinners if the all rounder is a fast/medium pacer.

3. All players should have played in the position selected for in at least five test matches.

4. While they need not have the "worst" stats for that position, they should be bad enough for the statistically minded to indulge in meaningful wars with you.

Here's to arguments of a different type

 

[SJS]

Clearly this is either difficult or uninteresting . Perhaps both

Okay. I am going to start BUILDING a side here. So I first choose a captain and a wicket keeper and give my reasons for the choice. Others are free to contribute players to the team but you have to justify your players selection for such an honour

CAPTAIN : Maharajkumar of Vijyanagram(popularly known as Vizzy)
Captain of the 1936 Indian team to England. Vizzy, unlike his prdecessor for the 1932 tour thought he was good enough to play and scored a ROYAL TOTAL of 33 runs in six innings in three tests. He also took one catch but never bowled. He , of course, lost the series. Thus , though he did not qualify as per the minimum five test criteria, we should consider him since.

1. He captained in every test match of his career,
2. He actually crossed double figures in one innings of a test match.
3. He had an immaculately clean bowling record.
4. He was totally unaffected by his or his team's performances and pretended quite the contrary throughout his life. Very different fro the current moaning and groaning professionals.

2. WICKET KEEEPER : Probir Sen of Gujarat is remarkable since you can hardly tell he ever kept wickets although he kept wickets in 14 of them !!

This is because he did not take a single catch or make a stumping in 14 innings !! A record I am sure.

He also averaged an impressive 11,8 with the bat with a highest score of 25.

India's grand contribution to what will, surely turn out an impressive side

 

[BoyBrumby]

I’d have to nominate IDK Salisbury for the spinner’s berth. He played 15 tests over 8 years & took 20 wickets @ an impressive 76.95 (!). Originally touted as our answer to Warne, he is a big turner of the ball, but nerves & a tendency to bowl one “four” ball every over meant he was pretty toothless @ test level.

My only slight proviso is that his batting average (16.72) is perhaps a shade high for the worst ever team.

 

[SJS]

STANDBY WICKETKEEPER : HAPW Jayawardhane (Sri Lanka)

What has this worthy done in his 5 test career. Well he, like his senior, P Sen of India, never particpated in any dismissals AND he holds the unique record in that the number of alphabets in his name are 15 times MORE than his test batting average of 3.000 !!!

 

[FaaipDeOiad]

Clearly this is either difficult or uninteresting . Perhaps both

It is difficult, not uninteresting. I fully intend to give it a shot, but it requires a bit of thought.

 

[SJS]

I’d have to nominate IDK Salisbury for the spinner’s berth. He played 15 tests over 8 years & took 20 wickets @ an impressive 76.95 (!). Originally touted as our answer to Warne, he is a big turner of the ball, but nerves & a tendency to bowl one “four” ball every over meant he was pretty toothless @ test level.

My only slight proviso is that his batting average (16.72) is perhaps a shade high for the worst ever team.

I am afraid , sir, your candidate has very strong competition from yet another wonderful performer from the subcontinent. After seeing his credentials I hope you will withdraw your nomination

LEG SPINNER : CS NAYUDU

Brother of the legendry Col CK Nayudu, CS actually played 11 test matches over 18 years !!!

In these matches, he averaged 9.2 with the bat, but as a bowler, which was his sole reason for selection, he was absolutely magnificient. He captured his 2 wickets for 359 runs at a strike rate of 261 balls each !!

Clearly he was a gem from the land of spinners and well deserved his protracted carer during which he played 4 tests more than his brother.

 

[a massive zebra]

Allowing for a minimum of 20 Tests. Statistically the worst team is:

Javed Omar 27 54 1 1155 119 21.79 1 5 6 -
Daren Ganga 31 54 0 1230 117 22.77 2 5 19 -
TR Gripper 20 38 1 809 112 21.86 32.71 1 5 14 -
JM Brearley* 39 66 3 1442 91 22.88 - 9 52 -
SN McGregor 25 47 2 892 111 19.82 1 3 9 -
PV Simmons 26 47 2 1002 110 22.26 1 4 26 -
CZ Harris 23 42 4 777 71 20.44 - 5 14 -
AB Agarkar 22 35 4 479 109* 15.45 1 - 5 -
Tapash Baisya 20 38 6 366 66 11.43 - 2 6 -
Mohammad Sami 21 33 10 289 49 12.56 - - 3 -
H Strudwick+ 28 42 13 230 24 7.93 - - 61 12

AB Agarkar 22 4359 149 2473 53 46.66 6-41 1 - 82.2 3.40
Mohammad Sami 21 4749 136 2726 58 47.00 5-36 2 - 81.8 3.44
Tapash Baisya 20 3286 91 2057 36 57.13 4-72 - - 91.2 3.75
CZ Harris 23 2560 106 1170 16 73.12 2-16 - - 160.0 2.74

That really was a challenge!!

Strudwick may have been a perfectly good keeper, but he appears to be the worst batsman to have played 20 Tests as a keeper. Simmons and Ganga had/have the ability to thrive at test level and their inclusion might seem bizarre to those that don't look at the stats.

 

[a massive zebra]

CAPTAIN : Maharajkumar of Vijyanagram(popularly known as Vizzy)
Captain of the 1936 Indian team to England. Vizzy, unlike his prdecessor for the 1932 tour thought he was good enough to play and scored a ROYAL TOTAL of 33 runs in six innings in three tests. He also took one catch but never bowled. He , of course, lost the series. Thus , though he did not qualify as per the minimum five test criteria, we should consider him since.

1. He captained in every test match of his career,
2. He actually crossed double figures in one innings of a test match.
3. He had an immaculately clean bowling record.
4. He was totally unaffected by his or his team's performances and pretended quite the contrary throughout his life. Very different fro the current moaning and groaning professionals.

Did he actually play a Test? I thought he came over as captain, played a few first class matches, then realised he was woefully inadequate and would be a liability, so he didn't play in the Tests.

 

[BoyBrumby]

I am afraid , sir, your candidate has very strong competition from yet another wonderful performer from the subcontinent. After seeing his credentials I hope you will withdraw your nomination

LEG SPINNER : CS NAYUDU

Brother of the legendry Col CK Nayudu, CS actually played 11 test matches over 18 years !!!

In these matches, he averaged 9.2 with the bat, but as a bowler, which was his sole reason for selection, he was absolutely magnificient. He captured his 2 wickets for 359 runs at a strike rate of 261 balls each !!

Clearly he was a gem from the land of spinners and well deserved his protracted carer during which he played 4 tests more than his brother.

Fair call, duly withdrawn!

 

[FaaipDeOiad]

That really was a challenge?

You might not have noticed, but some of us actually like to put a little more thought into our views about cricket than going to stats guru and checking who had the worst averages with a minimum of 20 tests. Clearly Mohammad Sami and Ajit Agarkar at the very least are not among the worst to ever play the game or even close.

 

[a massive zebra]

You might not have noticed, but some of us actually like to put a little more thought into our views about cricket than going to stats guru and checking who had the worst averages with a minimum of 20 tests. Clearly Mohammad Sami and Ajit Agarkar at the very least are not among the worst to ever play the game or even close.

Is that really necessary? I endeavoured to post the worst statistical XI, and statistically Sami and Agarkar are among the worst bowlers to have played 20 Tests.

 

[SJS]

Did he actually play a Test? I thought he came over as captain, played a few first class matches, then realised he was woefully inadequate and would be a liability, so he didn't play in the Tests.

That was Maharaja of Porbunder on the 1932 tour which was a one test affair

 

[a massive zebra]

Oh OK.

 

[FaaipDeOiad]

Is that really necessary? I endeavoured to post the worst statistical XI, and statistically Sami and Agarkar are among the worst bowlers to have played 20 Tests.

I was more responding to your comment at the end of the post, which implied we were wasting our time by thinking about it rather than just heading to howstat or cricinfo.

 

[Jamee999]

In ODI, Leicestershire's finest: DARREN LEE MADDY.

Averaging 18.83 with the bat and not bowling, the "all-rounder" never really got going on the international stage.

 

[Swervy]

I would like to nominate 2 players..and they are quite 'out there' choices, but hear me out:

1. GD McGrath

Some reviewers noticed he hasnt taken a wicket since 2000 through his skill, and just purely down to the luck of the batsman playing a poor shot.

Well on the assumption that we can allow Glenny boy the privilige of having taking one skillful wicket this century (just to make the averages work better), McGrath therefore averages 4506 with the ball in tests at a SR of over 11500.

Surely no bowler has ever been this bad


2. VVS Laxman

when only taking into consideration the innings he has failed to score more than 2 runs in, he only has a highest score of 2 and averages only 0.25.

A waste of space in my book.


others I woudl like to consider...Murali (if he played the game like it should be played, he surely wouldnt have taken a single wicket in all his 91 tests)
Warne (taken his wickets due to his proven heroin addiction...ball of the century caused by rock of crack cocaine that had fallen out of pocket and onto the pitch, the ball obviously hit that)
Mark Waugh (told guy the weather forcast, this increased his batting average by 40)

 

[a massive zebra]

I would like to nominate 2 players..and they are quite 'out there' choices, but hear me out:

1. GD McGrath

Some reviewers noticed he hasnt taken a wicket since 2000 through his skill, and just purely down to the luck of the batsman playing a poor shot.

Well on the assumption that we can allow Glenny boy the privilige of having taking one skillful wicket this century (just to make the averages work better), McGrath therefore averages 4506 with the ball in tests at a SR of over 11500.

Surely no bowler has ever been this bad


2. VVS Laxman

when only taking into consideration the innings he has failed to score more than 2 runs in, he only has a highest score of 2 and averages only 0.25.

A waste of space in my book.


others I woudl like to consider...Murali (if he played the game like it should be played, he surely wouldnt have taken a single wicket in all his 91 tests)
Warne (taken his wickets due to his proven heroin addiction...ball of the century caused by rock of crack cocaine that had fallen out of pocket and onto the pitch, the ball obviously hit that)
Mark Waugh (told guy the weather forcast, this increased his batting average by 40)

 

[Adamc]

2. VVS Laxman

when only taking into consideration the innings he has failed to score more than 2 runs in, he only has a highest score of 2 and averages only 0.25.

A waste of space in my book.

 

[BoyBrumby]

What about Arthur Fagg as opener? 5 tests between 1936-39 in which he scored a total of 150 runs @ 18.75 with a HS of 39.

Famously the only player (I think) to have scored double tons in both innings of an FC match (for Kent vs Essex in 1938), he was touted as a replacement for the legendary Sutcliffe &, frankly, wasn’t.

As an added bonus for the worst ever team his fielding was poor too, cricinfo says of it that “it was difficult to place him anywhere save in the slips, where he held his share of catches without being outstanding”

As for the all-rounder’s spot, I propose about that son of a famous father, Chris Cowdrey. 6 tests (including one as skipper during one of our numerous 80s nadirs) wherein he scored 101 runs @ 14.75 & took 4 wickets with his medium pace @ 77.25. A rare case of nepotism (his godfather Peter May was the chairman of selectors when he was briefly made captain) in the annals of the bastion of meritocracy that is English cricket!

 

[a massive zebra]

Lots and lots and lots of decent players failed to take their first opportunity, performing dismally for half a dozen Tests or so and then never playing again. I think there should be a minimum qualification criteria of 15 or 20 Tests, because failure over an extended period of time implies that the player is actually crap.