Rank the teams from most to least likeable

[Uppercut]

1. Mark Wood- good bowler, always seems to enjoy himself, quality footballer. Hasn't been around long enough to show any dickish side. Extra points for looking exactly like a really nice guy I know.

2. Mitchell Johnson- purely for being incredibly entertaining as a cricketer, whether bowling well, bowling badly, or batting.

3. Steve Smith- Comes across as really lovely, quality bat and bowls legspin.

4. Josh Hazlewood- no nonsense, just gets the job done

5. James Anderson- ATG at sending down those deliveries so ***y that they make you clench your buttcheeks. Would be higher were it not for the mildly embarrassing tendency to burst into tears.

6. Chris Rogers- solid old pro, so easy to get behind

7. Michael Clarke- I was never a big fan but he came across like an absolute champ after what happened to Hughes. Good, entertaining captaincy too.

8. Moeen Ali- spins ball hard, bats aggressively, has cool beard.

9. Nathan Lyon- quite a nice bowler to watch, also endearingly uncool.

10. Mitchell Starc- exciting bowler who loses points through no fault of his own because of benchy's love-in

11. Jos Buttler- pretty good fun to watch

12 Adam Voges- moving into the boring middle order now, Voges out on top for his county career.

13. Mitchell Marsh- no opinion

14. Peter Nevill- no opinion

15. Joe Root- brilliant batting balanced out by the fact that he's still a little bit in need of a slap.

16. Gary Ballance- Very boring batsman, neither stylish nor entertaining. Could be lower, purely on cricketing grounds, but gets far too much hate on the forums, which makes me want to defend him.

17. Ian Bell- I have no logic, I'm just kind of bored of him being around.

18. Adam Lyth- Again neither stylish nor entertaining. Yet to do anything that would leave a lasting impression.

19. Shane Watson- Bit of a tragic figure, feels like the defining image of the post-McWarne era of Australian cricket will be Watto signalling for a hopeless review. Tendency to occasionally be a bell-end on the field partly counteracted by sympathy.

20. Peter Siddle- Likeable in some ways, but it's hard to shake the feeling that he thinks he's really hard. Find his bowling a bit basic too, not a lot of fun to be had.

21. Stuart Broad- I like him as a bowler but can't really get over his in-your-face poshness. Wicket celebrations particularly annoying.

22. David Warner- Entertaining batting can't overcome his painfully bogan tweets.

23. Ben Stokes- Kind of like Siddle but without the redeeming features. Seems to spend entire games pretending to be really, really angry.

24. Alastair Cook- Those KP-related press conferences, dear ****ing god, has anyone in cricket ever come across as more of a prick.

 

[social]

Anderson is a tool

High quality cricketer but an absolute hypocrite (one of the world's biggest sledgers appealing for spirit of the game after 100+ tests and a boring as **** northerner whinging about no-0ne wanting to drink with him)

Give me a break!

Warner is no. 22 but close run by this dick

 

[Howe_zat]

Clarke, Warner, Johnson, anyone who seems to think of 'the line' as something important when it comes to sledging should be right down at the bottom. Double points if they also seem to believe that 'aggressive cricket' is linked to it, as though being an abusive **** on the field will give you cricketing superpowers

 

[Furball]

I love how Haddin is so dire he didn't merit a rating.

 

[Uppercut]

Clarke, Warner, Johnson, anyone who seems to think of 'the line' as something important when it comes to sledging should be right down at the bottom. Double points if they also seem to believe that 'aggressive cricket' is linked to it, as though being an abusive **** on the field will give you cricketing superpowers

Johnson was nothing like that when he first came to England. He's one of cricket's great narrative arcs, enduring endless mocking before coming back to single-handedly destroy the smug English. He's earned the right to be confrontational.

Plus he's the one doing the bowling. Clarke and Warner are just tag-alongs telling the English batsmen what their bigger, stronger mate is going to do to them.

 

[Swingpanzee]

i'd prefer johnson (and pretty much most players) to be effective/performing well rather than likeable

 

[NUFAN]

Australia
England

 

[Jono]

Switch Siddle and Anderson around.

 

[Riggins]

Australia
England

damnit i wanted that gag.

 

[theegyptian]

Can't get many bigger bellends that Clarke and Haddin. Sure the aussies feel the same about Anderson and Broad.

 

[Johnners]

So there's probably quite a bit of questionable logic here but anywho.

1. Mitchell Johnson - Flawed, but love this man so much. Jono's quote in my signature about sums it up, he's ****ing awesome for cricket, so entertaining. Also love that SteveNZ (i think? was definitely one of the kiwi posters) called him a Snarling Mongoose, such a cool villain description. Killer moustache
   
2. Nathan Lyon - Uppercut's spot on here, love watching him bowl, love his bobbleheadedness, and he is indeed endearingly uncool. Also the poor way he's been treated by selectors in the past, and some of the ridiculous criticism he's received really makes me want see him do well.
   
3. Michael Clarke - Have always been a fan of clarkeh, but the way he handled last summer was amazing
   
4. Joe Root - I've done a complete 180 on my opinion of Root, brilliant to watch. So he's a bit of a knob, but eh, cricket would be boring if everyone was as nice as say Rogers (yeah cliche etc.) Also scores points for his inability to hide that grin when Cook copped it in the nads, so evil. Also those reviews in 2013/14 were just so Watto
   
5. Alastair Cook - Seems a genuinely nice bloke (even if the KP stuff was a bit meh, I didn't really follow it all that much so for me it's easily forgettable), love that pull-shot.
   
6. Steve Smith - TPC, those straight drives
   
7. Gary Ballance - Teddy bear
   
8. Shane Watson - Bit of a Johnson lite for me, so flawed, but so entertaining, the facial expressions are always priceless. School girl antics (see the Gayle celebration) and being scared of ghosts moves him down a bit.
   
9. Josh Hazlewood - Just so good
   
10. Moeen Ali - The beard, really enjoyed watching him bowl, except for the part where he dismissed TPC/Clarke etc.
    
11. Chris Rogers - Such a nerdy nice guy. Also a bit of an underdog
    
12. Mark Wood - Interesting to watch bowl, and looks like a nice guy.
    
13. Adam Voges - See Rogers - though loses points as I wanted to see C Ferg get a run.
    
14. Peter Nevill - For whatever reason I've assumed he's just like Rogers & Voges.
    
15. Jos Buttler - No opinion
    
16. Mitchell Marsh - I quite like Marsh, but he loses points for being an Inferior Mitch, and along with his brother has also dropped catches off of the 1 true Mitch.
    
17. Adam Lyth - eh, seems forgettable
    
18. Ian Bell - seeing as I'd forgotten about him, it's difficult not to agree with Uppercut. Also has a very punch-able face, Warner hit the wrong pom 8|
    
19. James Anderson - Tosser, whinging git.
    
20. David Warner - Idiot
    
21. Peter Siddle - Southern Cross tattoo, Victorian
    
22. Mitchell Starc - Such a tryhard, there's only 1 real Mitch, lacks a moustache
    
23. Stuart Broad - His dismissals last ashes where he couldn't run away from Super-Mitch fast enough were gloriously funny, but he's won too many matches for England, and he looks too much like Chris Froome (ok so really it's just that he's tall/lanky/blonde). I hate Chris Froome.
    
24. Ben Stokes - Just so tough, kinda like a gym bro? Basically Warner but x 1000

 

[Johnners]

Who did I miss?

 

[King Pietersen]

Who did I miss?

I love how Haddin is so dire he didn't merit a rating.

This.

 

[Johnners]

This.

Heh, nah was Bell.

 

[RossTaylorsBox]

Australia
England

This but both teams equal last.

 

[wpdavid]

I can only assume Haddin was left out for compassionate reasons.

Either way, recent events have combined to make Aus less dislikeable than I expected. Faulkner's suspension helps too, in case there was any temptation to bring him into the side.
But I'm not sure what to make of Warner at present. Supposedly vowing to stfu, but still up to some bizarre antics when Stokes is batting.
Doubtless we'll hear about this imaginary line that they don't cross when things do all go off.

But if Anderson has reigned it in a bit post-Jadeja, and without Haddin, Watson and any chance of Faulkner, maybe we are in for a more civilised summer.
I'm not convinced by Clarke, but he's maybe less likely to be a complete tool when the games aren't being played in Aus.

 

[Cabinet96]

Johnson is a big soft bear, who admitted he got hurt by the barmy army taking the piss out of him. He's one of those guys who's aggressive on the pitch but you'd imagine he isn't at all a dick off it. He probably tries to be extra confrontational as well to try and shake the idea that he's soft, and of course it suits his bowling to try and be intimidating.

 

[Furball]

Given the absolute pasting Johnson has taken in the past from England's batsmen and the ribbing he's suffered at the hands of the Barmy Army, he's absolutely entitled to act like a bit of a **** on the field, and he's entitled to enjoy it.

On Clarke, I don't have a problem with the "get ready for a broken ****ing arm" incident. By all accounts, Anderson started that incident by gobbing off at Bailey at short leg, if your team-mates are taking a bit of needless aggro from the opposition players then I think as captain you're entitled to step in, back your men up and tell the opposition players to STFU and get on with the game. In this case, getting on with the game meant fronting up to Johnson bowling short, fast, mean stuff at the batsmen, which is a perfectly legitimate tactic; it's not like Clarke threatened Anderson with physical violence himself after the game.

 

[hendrix]

Best:
1. Johnson's my favourite. Comes across as a great bloke concealing himself behind that mo. I also admire the fact that he admitted the barmy army got to him. Such an un-Australian thing to say.
2. Moeen Ali, so humble and happy enough to bat at 8, even after Stokes had been underperforming.
3. Jos Buttler seems nice.
4. Always liked Lyon.
5. Steve Smith seems ok.

Worst:
1. Brad Haddin, obvs.
2. Mitchell Starc. Listens to the wrong people about aggression etc. Also looks a bit soft.
3. David Warner is not actually that unlikeable, he's just legitimately stupid.

 

[FaaipDeOiad]

Pretty neutral on most of the players really. From Australia, big fan of Smith and always want him to do well, Hazlewood too, and Lyon. Don't like Warner, seems like a massive dickhead. Liked Watson too, though he's done for the series.

From England, don't like Broad, comes across really poorly and most of the stuff England have done gamesmanship wise in recent Ashes series that I haven't liked seemed to involve him. Time wasting etc. But mostly just seems like a tool. And Stokes is pretty annoying as well, seems like the English equivalent of Warner basically. Giving Mitchell Johnson a huge sendoff in the SCG test last Ashes pretty much sums him up to me. Not only was his team 4-0 down, but the guy he dismissed was a bowler.

Cook kinda comes across poorly too but doesn't seem malicious. I like Root and Moeen a fair bit, Wood seems likeable too.