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Thread: Some Ashes fun: Poms will love it

  1. #1
    International Captain kingkallis's Avatar
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    Some Ashes fun: Poms will love it

    Found this on Facebook.

    From the Ashes of defeat:

    What do you call a world-class Australian cricketer?

    Retired.

    What do you call an Australian who can hold a catch?

    A fisherman.

    Why can no-one drink wine in Australia at the moment?

    They haven't got any openers .

    What is the difference between Cinderella and the Aussies?

    Cinderella knew when to leave the ball.

    What does an Australian batsman who is playing in The Ashes have in common with Michael Jackson?

    They both wore gloves for no apparent reason.

    Who spends the most time on the crease of anyone on the Australian cricket team?

    The woman who irons their cricket whites.

    What's the height of optimism?

    An Aussie batsman putting on sunscreen.

    What do you call a cricket field full of Australians ?

    A vacant lot.

    What's the difference between an Aussie batsman and a Formula 1 car?

    Nothing! If you blink you'll miss them both

    What's the difference between Michael Clarke and a funeral director?

    A funeral director doesn't keep losing the ashes

    The Australian bobsleigh team have asked the Aussie cricket team for a meeting. They want to ask their advice about going downhill so fast!
    CricZo XI - Draft League

    Season 1 M Hayden, G Gooch, R Dravid, W Hammond, K Pietersen, G Sobers, R Marsh (wk), R Benaud (c), D Steyn, W Hall, N Adcock

    Season 2 J Hobbs, B Richards, D Boon, H Taylor, C Lloyd (c), A Stewart (wk), T Goddard, A Davidson, H Tayfield, C Ambrose, H Griffith

    Season 3 H Sutcliffe, M Hayden, I Chappell (c), G Pollock, A Faulkner, M Hussey, D Lindsay (wk), I Botham, A Kumble, M Marshall, D Lillee

  2. #2
    Hall of Fame Member Furball's Avatar
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    OP clearly lacks comic timing, would've been a lot funnier after the 2nd Test.

    And the last joke doesn't make sense. Clarke's never lost the Ashes.

    1/10.
    Swingpanzee likes this.

  3. #3
    Hall of Fame Member Howe_zat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GingerFurball View Post
    And the last joke doesn't make sense. Clarke's never lost the Ashes.
    Because the whole thing's c+p from 2011
    And we still haven't walked in the glow of each other's majestic presence.

  4. #4
    Cricket Web: All-Time Legend Uppercut's Avatar
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    Don't mind Furball, he's not even a real Pom.
    Quote Originally Posted by zaremba View Post
    The Filth have comfortably the better bowling. But the Gash have the batting. Might be quite good to watch.


  5. #5
    Request Your Custom Title Now! benchmark00's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Howe_zat View Post
    Because the whole thing's c+p from 2011
    2011.

    Try 1999.
    Parmi | #1 draft pick | Jake King is **** | Big Bash League tipping champion of the universe
    Come and Paint Turtle
    Quote Originally Posted by Jono View Post
    Kohli. Do something in test cricket for once please.

    Thanks.

  6. #6
    International Captain kingkallis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GingerFurball View Post
    OP clearly lacks comic timing, would've been a lot funnier after the 2nd Test.

    And the last joke doesn't make sense. Clarke's never lost the Ashes.

    1/10.
    I would have posted it after 2nd test only but saw it just today...

  7. #7
    Hall of Fame Member Furball's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by benchmark00 View Post
    2011.

    Try 1999.
    But Australia were good in 1999...

  8. #8
    U19 12th Man Cooky Monster's Avatar
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    The height of optimism one is the best out of a bad bunch.

  9. #9
    International Coach G.I.Joe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GingerFurball View Post
    But Australia were good in 1999...
    They're Englishmen jokes from the late 90s with the target flipped over.
    Quote Originally Posted by Athlai View Post
    If GI 'Best Poster On The Forum' Joe says it then it must be true.
    Athlai doesn't lie. And he doesn't do sarcasm either, so you know it's true!

  10. #10
    State Vice-Captain
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    Non-Australians calling Englismen pommies always feels a bit off to me. What other nationalities have dibs on calling them poms anyway? S. Africans? Kiwis?

  11. #11
    Cricketer Of The Year Hurricane's Avatar
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    When I was growing up I was told it was bad manners to call someone a Pom. Not really sure why I have never met anyone who resents the term.
    Quote Originally Posted by HeathDavisSpeed View Post
    I got great enjoyment in going to the game and shouting "WHY THE **** ISN'T THIS GAME BEING PLAYED AT THE BASIN?!>!?!?" to reasonably significant cheers from the sparse crowd
    Proudly against the bring back Bennett movement since he is injury prone and won't last 5 days.

  12. #12
    International Vice-Captain MW1304's Avatar
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    Probably because noone knows what it even means. Oh no I'm a pomegranate!

  13. #13
    State Regular CricAddict's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kingkallis View Post
    Found this on Facebook.

    From the Ashes of defeat:

    What do you call a world-class Australian cricketer?

    Retired.
    What do you call a world-class English cricketer?

    South African.



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