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*Official* First Test at the Gabba

Howe_zat

Audio File
At least our island is inhabitable...
You've clearly never been to a Scottish student flat. :blink:

Why would you want to live inland when there's a million miles of amazing coast line? Fmd I've been to Brighton and seen the "beach". It's a ****ing joke.
Aww, don't tell me you wasted your time on the beach. We know why you were really there.

You all rabbit on about your beers.. Here's a tip.. 70 per cent of them taste like dirty dishwater.
*snigger* Oh, Burgey... We only told you that was beer...
 

Burgey

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Yeah, you soft ****s complain it's cold if your skin isn't glowing like you've had your body ironed. Here in the civilised world we actually have summer and winter, would you believe it, actual seasons?! And yeah, it was dark here at 3.30 today, but in June it's light til eleven....things change here across the year you see.

The only thing that's constant all year around in England is that if I go to a bar, check in to a hotel or order food in a restaurant, I'm served by an Aussie. Enough said.
The precise reverse of the situation here. A charming English lass just brought me my coffee. I asked her why she's here, said the weather is crap back home.

Very disappointed in GF setting aside centuries of animosity and not standing by his fellow anti-English thinking people. Shallow tbh. I thought better of him.

Keep banging on about the climate though. Your blokes will melt here. They can't carry a ****ing air conditioner out on the field with them.
 

Furball

Evil Scotsman
Very disappointed in GF setting aside centuries of animosity and not standing by his fellow anti-English thinking people. Shallow tbh. I thought better of him.
We set aside our animosirty centuries ago when we decided to rule you ****s.
 

Howe_zat

Audio File
Keep banging on about the climate though. Your blokes will melt here. They can't carry a ****ing air conditioner out on the field with them.
Nah, but Australia will likely attempt their ineffective sledging, so there'll at least be a couple of blowhard gasbags to keep it nice and breezy. :happy:
 
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Burgey

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Nah, but Australia will likely attempt their ineffective sledging, so there'll at least be a couple of blowhard gasbags to keep it nice and breezy. :happy:
Was going to say the only blowing will be between Broad and Swann, but thought better of it :ph34r:
 

GIMH

Norwood's on Fire
The precise reverse of the situation here. A charming English lass just brought me my coffee. I asked her why she's here, said the weather is crap back home.
Can only assume you're meeting with your Queen. God bless her, God Save Your Queen.

I walked into the living room earlier and one of my three year old daughters was hysterical, lying on the floor in fits of laughter. I asked her what it was all about and it turns out she'd just heard the XI Australia were planning on putting out for the First Test. She was too busy laughing to speak but her twin sister helpfully chimed in, "the one with funny teeth will be playing, and the one that looks like a girl was acting like he was He-Man, but he's more like Hannah Montana isn't he dad?"

At which point she was sent to her room. It is way unfair on Miss Montana to even mention her in the same breath as ****ing Shane Watson.
 

howardj

International Coach
No Show Poms Running Scared

Geez the Courier Mail has gone downhill. This bogan journalist, Ben Dorries, knows full well that England are only doing what Australia did in England in 2009 - attending a single function for the whole tour.

The media is now even trying to dumb down cricket, it seems
 

Howe_zat

Audio File
No Show Poms Running Scared

Geez the Courier Mail has gone downhill. This bogan journalist, Ben Dorries, knows full well that England are only doing what Australia did in England in 2009 - attending a single function for the whole tour.

The media is now even trying to dumb down cricket, it seems
:laugh:, what crap. My favourite line:

"ENGLAND'S invisible cricketers"

Now there's a tactic. The Aussies won't be able to see the bowlers or the fielders, we'll have the Ashes in the bag.:happy:
 

Top_Cat

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Ben Dorries is ****. I've been a broken record on him so this'll just be yet another wedge to add to his Trivial Pursuit of a journalism career.
 

Burgey

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Sorry for the hiatus, the poor English girl was nearly in tears at the cost of dental work.

So tomorrow we begin, hopefully with good weather in store, as I'd hate the Poms to use the rain as an excuse. As opposed to their sorry excuse for a cricket team.
 

superkingdave

Hall of Fame Member
Dammit, so ****ed im gonna miss out on tomorrow night, just have to hope the Aussies haven't already capitulated by Thursday night
 

howardj

International Coach
Ben Dorries is ****. I've been a broken record on him so this'll just be yet another wedge to add to his Trivial Pursuit of a journalism career.
You know a journo is bad when you're forced into saying: 'bring back Crash Craddock'.
 

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