Ashes Predictions Thread

[Richard]

Originally Posted by Adamc

Miscellaneous Event: Australia win a tense Third Test by one wicket thanks to an unbeaten Mike Hussey century in which he is dropped eleven times. The Fourth Test is abandoned after Richard digs up the pitch and burns his First Chance Average manifesto into the grass. He is subsequently thrown off the Lord's balcony but survives after being caught by Geoffrey Boycott's grandmother.

ITSTL.
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[Burgey]

Originally Posted by GeraintIsMyHero

who the hell will we have left?

Paul Jarvis for a surprise recall.

[Richard]

He's too crocked. So is Alan Igglesden.

Paul Taylor FTW.

[zaremba]

I was going to say Chris Lewis, but these days he wears his box to the rear.

[rivera213]

Originally Posted by zaremba

I was going to say Chris Lewis, but these days he wears his box to the rear.

Nasty.

[Top_Cat]

Originally Posted by zaremba

I was going to say Chris Lewis, but these days he wears his box to the rear.

zaremba = most quotable member of CW today.

Top shelf.

[BoyBrumby]

Series Result: 2-1 Oz
Top Eng Runscorer: Pietersen
Top Aus Runscorer: Hughes
Top Eng Wicket-taker: Flintoff
Top Aus Wicket-taker: Johnson
Player of the Series: Hughes
Surprise Packet: Broad. Will take at least one 5-for and score 2 half-centuries.
Dropped Player(s): Lee, Sidebottom, Hauritz
Miscellaneous Events: Pietersen will continue the wounded prima donna act throughout, Hauritz will take wickets at Cardiff but get destroyed on less responsive tracks, Sid's back and weight will plague him, Watson will be injured & the distance between Prior's batting and keeping skills will become so great as to threaten the space/time continuum.

[cowboysfan]

England to buck their recent trend and win the 1st test but lose the the ashes.

[rivera213]

Originally Posted by BoyBrumby

& the distance between Prior's batting and keeping skills will become so great as to threaten the space/time continuum.

* Can't completely rule it out. Get Hawking on the phone!

[inbox24]

Cardiff will be an English victory, Matt Priapism to score his first test century against Australia.

[pup11]

Series Result: 3-1 AUS
Top Eng Runscorer: Strauss
Top Aus Runscorer: Ponting
Top Eng Wicket-taker: Swann
Top Aus Wicket-taker: Johnson
Player of the Series: Johnson
Surprise Packet: Hauritz. Will bowl quite decently and would play his part nicely, might even chip in with some handy runs down the order.
Dropped Player(s): Lee, Sidebottom, Collingwood
Miscellaneous Events: Symonds to appear in the crowd for one of the test matches, with a bottle of beer in one hand, and a fishing rod in the other!!

[NUFAN]

Originally Posted by inbox24

Cardiff will be an English victory, Matt Priapism to score his first test century against Australia.

He's never played Australia so that'd be a big achievement from Prior.

I've read a lot of people predicting Collingwood to be dropped, why is that, he's my tip for leading run scorer!

[jondavluc]

Originally Posted by NUFAN

He's never played Australia so that'd be a big achievement from Prior.

I've read a lot of people predicting Collingwood to be dropped, why is that, he's my tip for leading run scorer!

I think it is the ginger.

[Son Of Coco]

Series Result: Aus 3-1
Top Eng Runscorer: Stuart Broad
Top Aus Runscorer: Ricky Ponting
Top Eng Wicket-taker: Graeme Onions
Top Aus Wicket-taker: Peter Siddle
Player of the Series: Mitchell Johnson
Surprise Packet: Stuart Clark
Dropped Player(s): Collingwood, Prior, Onions, Lee, Pietersen.
Miscellaneous Event: - Watson scores his first test hundred in the first test and is then out for the rest of a series when he bursts into tears and pulls a tear duct.
- Alistair Cook pulls out of England's campaign halfway through the third test when he successfully auditions for a part in the revamped 'Yes Minister' series.
-Stuart Broad hits the headlines when he is felt up by another man in a London nightclub from behind. The man claims he thought Stuart was a tall Norwegian woman. He is later acquitted of all charges and the presiding magistrate describes his error in judgement as 'totally understandable'. Broad, whilst nonplussed, is later announced as the face of Revlon and Gucci handbags.
- James Anderson refers to himself as 'James Anderson' at least 3 times during the series. Takes 2 wickets in an over when Australian batsmen are distracted by birds nesting in his hair taking flight. The incident is later described as being 'worse than the Stuart Broad affair' and puts cricketing relations between the two teams on a par with after the Bodyline series.
- Play is disrupted during the fifth test when (the now dropped) Paul Collingwood races onto the field after the first drinks break chasing a whistling rocket and has to be physically restrained. Ricky Ponting says "****ing hell Paul, it looks like you've been catching it with your face". This is later acknowledged as one of the greatest sledges of all time.
- Sidebottom reveals himself to be a complete frontbottom on the pitch when he knocks over Ricky Ponting in the second test before launching a tirade of abuse at 13 year old substitute fielder Angus Fontleroy for putting down a diving one-handed chance at gully earlier in the match. Sidebottom knocks out second slip later in the match when a ball bounces awkwardly and goes between his legs for a single.

[jondavluc]

Originally Posted by Son Of Coco

Series Result: Aus 3-1
Top Eng Runscorer: Stuart Broad
Top Aus Runscorer: Ricky Ponting
Top Eng Wicket-taker: Graeme Onions
Top Aus Wicket-taker: Peter Siddle
Player of the Series: Mitchell Johnson
Surprise Packet: Stuart Clark
Dropped Player(s): Collingwood, Prior, Onions, Lee, Pietersen.
Miscellaneous Event: - Watson scores his first test hundred in the first test and is then out for the rest of a series when he bursts into tears and pulls a tear duct.
- Alistair Cook pulls out of England's campaign halfway through the third test when he successfully auditions for a part in the revamped 'Yes Minister' series.
-Stuart Broad hits the headlines when he is felt up by another man in a London nightclub from behind. The man claims he thought Stuart was a tall Norwegian woman. He is later acquitted of all charges and the presiding magistrate describes his error in judgement as 'totally understandable'. Broad, whilst nonplussed, is later announced as the face of Revlon and Gucci handbags.
- James Anderson refers to himself as 'James Anderson' at least 3 times during the series. Takes 2 wickets in an over when Australian batsmen are distracted by birds nesting in his hair taking flight. The incident is later described as being 'worse than the Stuart Broad affair' and puts cricketing relations between the two teams on a par with after the Bodyline series.

- Play is disrupted during the fifth test when (the now dropped) Paul Collingwood races onto the field after the first drinks break chasing a whistling rocket and has to be physically restrained. Ricky Ponting says "****ing hell Paul, it looks like you've been catching it with your face". This is later acknowledged as one of the greatest sledges of all time.

Ricky you bloody legend.