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Thread: WANTED: One English wicket-keeper

  1. #1
    World Traveller Craig's Avatar
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    WANTED: One English wicket-keeper

    WANTED: One English wicket keeper, who can hold a cricket bat and knock out some runs to help out Kevin Pietersen for when the middle order goes AWOL. Ability to keep wickets well is also a strong must and so is the ability to play spin. Applicants are welcome to apply whether they are from England or South Africa or where ever. Applicants with the the liking of the sweep shot or to play shots that defy logic to need not apply. Any interested should contact Duncan Fletcher.
    Beware the lollipop of mediocrity. Lick once and you suck forever...

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    Bradman never had to face quicks like Sharma and Irfan Pathan. He wouldn't of lasted a ball against those 2, not to mention a spinner like Sehwag.

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    International Coach adharcric's Avatar
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    Dear Mr. Fletcher,

    I am interested in the vacancy in your side. I was a teenage prodigy in India so surely I have some talent. Although I have yet to score a test century, my test average is far superior to that of either of your wannabe glovesmen. I may spill a few crucial chances in the next Ashes, but I will provide balance to the lineup and I'm an energetic little chap.

    p.s. come on sir, you gave ashley a chance to look good, please ...

    Regards,

    Parthiv Ajay Patel
    Last edited by adharcric; 25-12-2006 at 11:16 PM.

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    i think Read is the best choice

    but i think England should drop Mahmoof for an extra batsman perhaps


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    RTDAS pasag's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Laurrz
    i think Read is the best choice

    but i think England should drop Mahmoof for an extra batsman perhaps
    Will never happen with Flintoff carrying an injury.
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  6. #6
    Englishman BoyBrumby's Avatar
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    This is the man for the job.

    The only current test batsman to average fewer than Read & Jones (clue: he plays for Bangladesh). Admittedly he'll be 34 by the time he qualifies, but Nixon can fill in until then.
    - As featured in The Independent.

    "Predictably, the ending of his international career did not end the argument about Pietersen's merits, as an army of informed commentators and Piers Morgan weighed in to defend or attack him."
    - The Guardian's Andrew Anthony

  7. #7
    Cricketer Of The Year ripper868's Avatar
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    I have an english grandmother, played a bit of keeper in under 16's and opened the batting a few times. does that mean i qualify?

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    Hall of Fame Member steds's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by adharcric
    Dear Mr. Fletcher,

    I am interested in the vacancy in your side. I was a teenage prodigy in India so surely I have some talent. Although I have yet to score a test century, my test average is far superior to that of either of your wannabe glovesmen. I may spill a few crucial chances in the next Ashes, but I will provide balance to the lineup and I'm an energetic little chap.

    p.s. come on sir, you gave ashley a chance to look good, please ...

    Regards,

    Parthiv Ajay Patel
    Dear Mr. Patel,

    Thankyou for your enquiry into the problematic wicketkeepers job. As you probably well know, in England there are a shortage of keepers with the required skills to make it in my Test side. I have tried my current two over and over again and every single time, whilst impressing me with their shoddy wicketkeeping, their lacklustre batting fails to justify their existence. Having looked at your credentials, you seem to tick all the boxes. You have a better Test average than both my keepers, admitted in your letter of application that you are infact a shoddy wicketkeeper, and - most importantly - you aren't English. Therefore, Mr. Patel, I am writing to inform you that, providing that you have/will have a UK passport, the job is yours.

    Yours truely,

    D Fletcher

  9. #9
    Cricketer Of The Year ripper868's Avatar
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    GOLD!

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    International Coach Barney Rubble's Avatar
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    This thread > this Ashes series so far.

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    International Vice-Captain 33/3from3.3's Avatar
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    Brilliant!!!

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    The Wheel is Forever silentstriker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by steds
    Dear Mr. Patel,

    Thankyou for your enquiry into the problematic wicketkeepers job. As you probably well know, in England there are a shortage of keepers with the required skills to make it in my Test side. I have tried my current two over and over again and every single time, whilst impressing me with their shoddy wicketkeeping, their lacklustre batting fails to justify their existence. Having looked at your credentials, you seem to tick all the boxes. You have a better Test average than both my keepers, admitted in your letter of application that you are infact a shoddy wicketkeeper, and - most importantly - you aren't English. Therefore, Mr. Patel, I am writing to inform you that, providing that you have/will have a UK passport, the job is yours.

    Yours truely,

    D Fletcher
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    Soutie Langeveldt's Avatar
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    Nic Pothas?
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    Global Moderator Prince EWS's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Langeveldt
    Nic Pothas?
    Easily the best keeper-batsman in county cricket, but I'm not exactly sure on his eligibility. He has played for South Africa in the past so England might be reluctant to pick him even if he was technically available.
    ~ Cribbage

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    Hall of Fame Member chaminda_00's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BoyBrumby
    This is the man for the job.

    The only current test batsman to average fewer than Read & Jones (clue: he plays for Bangladesh). Admittedly he'll be 34 by the time he qualifies, but Nixon can fill in until then.
    Prasanna Jayawardene averages 17.88, its lower then all those three.
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