Jokes on them

ash chaulk · 07-12-2006, 09:53 PM

good jokes i got

Q. What do Geraint Jones and Michael Jackson have in common?
A. They both wear gloves for no apparent reason

Q. What is the height of optimism?
A. An English batsman applying sunscreen.

Q. What does Ashley Giles put in his hands to make sure the next ball almost always takes a wicket? A. A bat.

Q. What would Glen McGrath be if he was an Englishman?
A. An allrounder.

Q. What advantage do Kevin Pieterson, Andrew Strauss and Geraint Jones have over the rest of their team-mates? A. At least they can say they're not really English.

Q. What is the English version of a hat-trick?
A. Three runs in three balls.

Q. What do you call an Englishman with 100 runs against his name? A. A bowler.

Q. What is the most proficient form of footwork displayed by English batsmen? A. The walk back to the pavilion.

Q. Who has the easiest job in the English squad?
A. The guy who removes the red ball marks from the bats.

Q. Why is Andrew Flintoff the unluckiest English player?
A. Because he was born in England.

Q. What does "Ashes" stand for?
A. Another Sad Horrific English Series.

Q. What's the English version of LBW?
A. Lost, Beaten, Walloped.

Q. Who spends the most time on the crease of anyone in the English team? A. The person who ironed the cricket whites.

Johnners · 07-12-2006, 10:05 PM

Nnanden · 07-12-2006, 10:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ash chaulk

Q. What do Geraint Jones and Michael Jackson have in common?
A. They both wear gloves for no apparent reason.

Q. Who has the easiest job in the English squad?
A. The guy who removes the red ball marks from the bats.

Blewy · 07-12-2006, 10:10 PM

Good stuff...

Its funny cause its true...

Perm · 07-12-2006, 10:10 PM

Couple of good ones in there.

chaminda_00 · 07-12-2006, 10:27 PM

I got a good joke..Adam who?

Nnanden · 07-12-2006, 10:30 PM

Gilchrist. Been around for a while.

shortpitched713 · 07-12-2006, 10:38 PM

Heard 'em all tbh, although there are some really good ones. The Michael Jackson one in particular had me

.

James90 · 08-12-2006, 12:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ash chaulk

Q. Why is Andrew Flintoff the unluckiest English player?
A. Because he was born in England.

They were all a bit witty but this one

vic_orthdox · 08-12-2006, 01:03 AM

Hmmm, are they the same ones trotted out when we regained the Ashes in '89?

PY · 08-12-2006, 01:27 AM

Sounds it.

Very witty though

, we should've rolled them out in '05.

GIMH · 08-12-2006, 04:26 AM

Scaly did roll them out after we won last year's Ashes...I found them one time...can't be bothered to look now though

Tomm NCCC · 08-12-2006, 09:23 AM

Very funny, now tell the ones that dont suck

Nnanden · 08-12-2006, 09:26 AM

What`s Harmison`s website?

wwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.harmison.co.uk

Langeveldt · 08-12-2006, 09:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nnanden

What`s Harmison`s website?

wwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.harmison.co.uk

that doesn't work, w also stands for wicket

07-12-2006, 10:27 PM	#6 (permalink)
chaminda_00 Hall of Fame Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Murali CG Posts: 16,305	I got a good joke..Adam who? __________________ The man, the mountain, the Mathews. The greatest all rounder since Keith Miller. (Y) Jaffna Jets CC (Battrick & FTP) RIP WCC and CW Cricket Member of the MSC, JMAS and CVAAS

08-12-2006, 01:27 AM	#11 (permalink)
PY International Coach Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Midlands, UK Posts: 10,736	Sounds it. Very witty though , we should've rolled them out in '05. __________________ A True Champion - Bob. Rest in peace. 15/04/06 "People today have too big a devil and too small a God" - Stephen Currie "The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?" Psalm 27:1

08-12-2006, 04:26 AM	#12 (permalink)
GIMH Eternal Optimist Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Shake my tree where's the apple for me? Posts: 43,656	Scaly did roll them out after we won last year's Ashes...I found them one time...can't be bothered to look now though __________________ Watch out, for as soon as it pleases them they’ll send you out to protect their gold in wars whose weapons, rapidly developed by servile scientists, will become more and more deadly until they can with a flick of the finger tear a million of you to pieces RIP Craigos. A true CW legend. You will be missed.

08-12-2006, 09:23 AM	#13 (permalink)
Tomm NCCC State Captain Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Papplewick, Nottingham Posts: 1,565	Very funny, now tell the ones that dont suck __________________ This Weeks Samit Patel Fact - Has been mentioned in 32 of my posts The Rifles - Whats your verdict? www.myspace.com/therifles Winner of Cricket Webs Shane Warne Award - 4-11th Feb RIP Mr Woolmer, We are all poorer for your loss.

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07-12-2006, 10:10 PM	#4 (permalink)
Blewy Cricketer Of The Year Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Your house Posts: 9,964	Good stuff... Its funny cause its true...

07-12-2006, 10:30 PM	#7 (permalink)
Nnanden You'll Never Walk Alone Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: New South Wales Posts: 26,190	Gilchrist. Been around for a while.

07-12-2006, 10:38 PM	#8 (permalink)
shortpitched713 International Regular Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: USA Posts: 3,219	Heard 'em all tbh, although there are some really good ones. The Michael Jackson one in particular had me .

08-12-2006, 01:03 AM	#10 (permalink)
vic_orthdox Global Moderator Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Melbourne, Australia Posts: 24,371	Hmmm, are they the same ones trotted out when we regained the Ashes in '89?

08-12-2006, 09:26 AM	#14 (permalink)
Nnanden You'll Never Walk Alone Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: New South Wales Posts: 26,190	What`s Harmison`s website? wwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.harmison.co.uk

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