The World's Angriest Man:
With Jaap Stam looking like his pet orc.
Or as Surreal Football described him:
A great and terrible dark force, a clockwork bundle of rage, despair, anger and dread, taking out every minor pain ever suffered and the anticipation of injustices to come on his opponents. It was human anger so condensed and focus as to become robotic – the point where, like a youth throwing bricks at a train, all ideas of fear and mercy evaporated to leave a pure, condensed release of righteous indignation. A machine with no off-switch, which could only ever be pointed forwards – unleashed rather than controlled, that would never stop in any eventuality other than the death of its opponents or itself.