The Real World XI -- Posted by Liam on Thursday, February 12 2004
This is the story of eleven cricketers,
Picked as the best to compete against the best
And have their performances televised to the masses.
Find out what happens
When cricket stops being monotonous
And starts getting real.

The opening credits to the newest sports-themed reality show and the first of its kind. Cricket will expectedly come to the fore later this year as the ICC presents to the world, 'the Best' versus 'the Best of the Rest'. The Best team will naturally be the number one ranked and, if the last few years are anything to go by, it will be Australia. Their opponents however, would require more thought.

In likening the sport to MTV's 'The Real World' we must find the essential character types to produce a hit reality series. We must secure our flagship member. This person is the true embodiment of the word character, the player who makes his presence known. He will standout in the team in such a way that his is the name which will be remembered in recollection of the series. Immediately on consideration of this spot you would think of the team captain.

The candidates for this position really come down to three - Stephen Fleming, Sourav Ganguly and Graeme Smith. Whilst some would suggest the extension of this short list to include Heath Streak, I would counter that by stirring the lack of results. Yes, Streak has little resources at his disposal, but there's no guarantee as to what he could do at the helm of an Australia. It's the same with Brian Lara.

Smith is certainly a vocal character and is sure to boost ratings for the pure curiosity as to what statement he will make next. He has youthful enthusiasm and the arrogance to go with it and has led by example. However, his man-management skills aren't anywhere near what they should be that he truly merit a contract from me.

Ganguly has revitalized the Indian team and they are improving with every game. Like Smith, he will not shy away from making public comments and certainly leads his country with a passion. Still, he hasn't really captured the 'leading from the front' part as yet and that knocks him out of consideration for my part. Here we are left only Stephen Fleming, who is in my mind undoubtedly the best captain going around at the moment. His batting has certainly come along in recent times and his tactical expertise has never been questionable. Fleming will lead the cast, but may not be the flagship member.

Now that we've secured the first specialist position, let's move on to the second - the wicketkeeper. Considering that the game will (in all likelihood) be against Australia, Adam Gilchrist will be unavailable for selection, thus opening the door for basically any of the other glovemen in the world. New Zealand and England seem somewhat unsettled at that position these days, so they don't make my short list. That leaves Taibu (Zimbabwe), Jacobs (West Indies), Mashud (Bangladesh), Patel (India), Moin Khan (Pakistan), Mark Boucher (South Africa), Sangakkara and Kaluwitharana (Sri Lanka). The best batsman of that bunch is clearly Sangakkara and the best wicketkeeper Taibu.

I give the young Zimbabwean the edge over Sangakkara, as he will add a youthful enthusiasm to the 'show' and another point of interest. Also, seeing as I'm bound by the laws of reality TV to cover all origins, this potentially covers my Zimbabwean pick.

That's Fleming and Taibu thus far. Now for the openers. We already have the calm presence of Fleming and the adrenaline of Taibu, so I would be searching for two players who would also neutralize each other, whilst clicking nicely for an effortless partnership. Thus the intention is for a defensive and an aggressive opener - the cooperating ying and yang of the team. This paradox will be halved by Mark Richardson of New Zealand. He is the most consistent of opening batsmen outside of Australia and will be the rock at the top needed. His partner in crime is to be Englishman Michael Vaughan. Whilst I was tempted to pick West Indian Chris Gayle for the attacking position, Vaughan has had such great success against Australia (albeit in fairly limited opportunity) that he simply cannot be ignored.

Following the sparkling century stand between the openers, the ideal number three comes in and maintains solidity whilst playing freely enough to keep initiative and momentum. In TV terms he would be the 'easy going, good-looking guy who everyone likes'. In my terms he is Rahul Dravid. Dravid has really emerged as a player of true class and has gained respect from all corners, none more than the Australians. He does not appear the most outgoing of characters, but he's perfect for the job of neutralizing the Aussie aggression which will no doubt be on display.

For number four there is but one question posed - Brian Lara or Sachin Tendulkar. Both are legends of their time and well on their way to securing places alongside the originators of this great game. They bring the first and most true starpower that this 'World XI' will see and will draw spectators from every country, whether they root for or against them. Going on current form and history against the men from Oz, Brian Lara settles in to keep the left/right rotation going strong.

Follow with me, now contracted we have Richardson, Vaughan, Dravid, Lara, Tendulkar and Taibu and we're on to the bowling options. For this great team we need a great allrounder. The character, which will be portrayed by Kallis, is the go-to man. He excels in all forms of the game and is the most valuable asset in the side. Kallis, fresh off shredding the touring West Indians into submission, is primed to do battle with the Australians and gets my vote as the afore mentioned flagship player. His intelligent bowling and frustratingly breathtaking batting, with a mix of sound fielding keeps him on the mind well after the show's completion.

We're almost there. I've compiled a batting unit which could last days against any bowling attack in the world, but there's also need to bowl to win the Test. For this I turn to the experienced hand of Muttiah Muralitharan. The viewers just love his freakish eyes and even more freakish deliveries. His skills are surely unparalleled in the world of fingerspinners and that makes him a money-maker.

Complementing the slow bowling is pure uninhibited pace. Shoaib Akhtar embodies this and is one of the few bowlers who can well and truly strike fear into the Australian hearts. His aggression and deadly inswinging yorker should rattle more than a couple of batsmen (and stumps), adding to the overall entertainment value. Seeing the Australians weaving and ducking is always highly entertaining outside of the island continent.

Two places remain and ought to be claimed by seamers. I believe the components of an effective anti-Australia bowling attack to be pace-seam-fingerspin, and it's my team, so that's the way it will be. The first and third quotient have been more than capably covered, so now it's time to factor in the seam options. These characters are the thinking types. They may possess pace, but more rely on seam and swing to get the opposition out.

My first choice is Shaun Pollock, who without hesitation accepts the challenge of facing Australia. He not only bowls with machine-like accuracy, but he bats as well, giving the batting line-up more than competent shape. Here I am left with the final casting call. For this spot I turn to the mandatory minority and by this I mean either a Zimbabwean or Bangladeshi.

The closest competitor from Bangladesh is Mohammed Rafique, but as a left-arm orthodox spinner, he doesn't fit the blueprint. Thus I take Heath Streak, as the Zimbabwean equivalent of Shaun Pollock. Streak's batting, bowling, fielding and do-it-all mentality supply a definite completion to the already outstanding cast.

Now we can prepare for the start of what will hopefully be a special series. The players will meet and discover the differences in character and ability and hopefully gel due a mutual respect, thus forming a team powerful enough to dethrone (WMD) Australia and provide some quality entertainment along the way. I'm sure we will all be watching.

[B]The Real World XI[/B]

Mark Richardson (New Zealand)
Michael Vaughan (England)
Rahul Dravid (India)
Brian Lara (West Indies)
Stephen Fleming (New Zealand) *
Jacques Kallis (South Africa)
Tatenda Taibu (Zimbabwe) +
Shaun Pollock (South Africa)
Heath Streak (Zimbabwe)
Shoaib Akhtar (Pakistan)
Muttiah Muralitharan (Sri Lanka)

12th Men : Habibul Bashar (Bangladesh), Sachin Tendulkar (India), Yousuf Youhana (Pakistan), Ramnaresh Sarwan (West Indies), Daryl Tuffey (New Zealand), Graeme Smith (South Africa), Chaminda Vaas (Sri Lanka).